Friday, May 30, 2014

Bursting

I've been stuck in an artless state for a few months now. Feeling unmotivated. Uncertain. Questioning what direction to go next, without so much as an ounce of creative passion in me. There is a huge amount of pressure and expectation that I put on the artist in me. Creating art is sort of a must, if you want to make money in your art.

And I wasn't creating a thing, nor did I have a desire to do so.

I was hopeless.

It was icky.

I thought, "Maybe that was it. It was a nice run. . . maybe you're done." 

Seriously.

I meditated. I walked. I looked at the birds.

I listened to music.

I traveled. I drank wine. I laughed.

I watched people. I read blogs. I read books.

I sat in my mess of a studio without a bit of inspiration, and looked at the piles and piles of supplies I had . . . not knowing where to even begin.

I sketched . . . a little. But nothing moved me. Not a single thing.

Then, it was my birthday.

I don't usually make much out of my birthday. I don't like or want attention, and my family knows it. Phil was out of town, and it was just a regular day. And it felt like that . . . just a regular day. . . and . . . I was sad.

I thought to myself, "well . . . this is what you wanted." 

But in my heart, it wasn't.

So, I grabbed a sharpie and a sketch book . . . and before I knew it . . . this came out of me . . .


It was what I felt deep inside.

I didn't like that feeling. Not one bit.

But, I liked the drawing.

Very much.

So, I did another . . .


And it made me giggle . . . because I took a silly picture of myself and printed it on my computer, and added it to my sketchbook.

It's exactly how I feel about life right now, and it makes me laugh.

So, I put it on Facebook.

And a couple people liked it. And it made me happy.

So, I did one more . . . because I felt like it was calling me . . .

I looked at this one a long time . . . it's funny how the universe speaks to you when you need it most, you know? I read it over and over, and thought, "hmmm . . . maybe THIS is what I plan to do. Maybe THIS is what is next."

Yes, sometimes I think it's easier if someone would just throw a brick at me.

I did another . . . because I really love this prayer . . .


I shared it on Facebook, too . . . and more people liked it . . . and it made me happy, again.

Then, I added some color . . . because I like color . . .


And I thought, "hmmm . . . maybe I should try color again." 

So, I did . . .

It speaks to me. A lot.

Now, I'm bursting. Truly, Bursting.

The ideas keep coming, and I can't stop.

And I feel excited, like my mind is full of hundreds of little thoughts just waiting for to be released.

I don't know where it will take me, but I am so grateful for this feeling right now.

And it all started by getting back to my basics with just a sketch pad, and a sharpie. I got away from all the clutter - all the supplies - all the expectations. I listened to my heart and found words that truly touch my soul, and I am making work that really is from my heart.

Thank you, for being along for this ride and letting me share it with you.

I am most grateful for you.

Wishing you Peace, my friend.

If you are interested in any of my prints, check in my Etsy shop next week. I am not sure what I'll be offering, but if something I have made touches your heart, too, perhaps you will want a copy of it for yourself! I hope to have many of my new art available in note cards and prints. It's exciting! 

xo


6 comments:

  1. I'm where you were. There is so much going on I can't even get myself to sit and doodle. We must be gentle with ourselves. As you found out, it only lasts for a time. I am so excited for you! I can't wait to see your prints in your shop. I'm thinking about getting the blog moving again when things settle and the girls are out of school. I would love it if you would drop by in a couple weeks when I have posted new stuff for a while for a guest post (a free plug for your shop)! :)

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  2. It's so funny to me that when we write blog posts we ever know how much they mean to another person...and they might not even mean what you intend them to mean...like me, today with this post. Leanne your first sketch and that quote about isolation has rung so true with me that I am sitting her typing this while tears run down my face. I am hurting so bad right now...and I know I have isolated myself...and now when I just long for everything to be all right...to be normal its not and I think why in the world did I isolate myself so much?? Why?? For what reason?? Your work is so beautiful...i envy how you can draw...its so good!!! My very favorite one is the earth with hearts!! I think you should turn these into cards or bookmarks or even cute wall plaques...I love them!!

    Thanks for always inspiring me dear friend!!

    xoxo

    Leslie

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  3. Oh my goodness, these are fabulous! I love that you've got your doodle back. :-)

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  4. Your sketches are beautiful!!

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  5. Thank You, Leanne
    The Universe used you to deliver a message to me thru your art. I've only been stagnate for a few days but it feels like forever. LOVE YOUR ART!

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  6. Leanne,
    I am LOVING your sharpie magic! Can hardly wait to see them in prints!!! oxox

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Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving me a little note! Your words mean so much to me!

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