Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Trying to Find the Words
I'm having such a hard time writing these days.
Years ago, the words would flow so much easier for me. But now a days, not so much.
When I think about how often I used to blog, versus how little I do it now, it makes me sad.
And I can't understand it.
I imagine, if I were a writer, that this is what writers block is like. (Is it possible that I can write a blog post about my writers block?)
I have had my blog since July of 2009. In the beginning, the posts flew with such ease from my mind to my fingers tips as I clucked away at the keyboard. It was heaven. 116 posts written in those first 6 months. 260 posts in 2010. I slowed down to 186 in 2011. And 2012? A sad and lonely 110 posts.
I think the lack of time I spend driving in the car has something to do with it.
For years, most of the 'thinking' I did in life happened in my car. When I had a job to drive to, it seems the time spent in my car was truly my only me time, and the only time my brain would shut off from the hustle and bustle of life. The only time I had to think about things like . . . life. Really think about it. Driving, to me, provided a great sense of peace and quiet.
And I just don't spend enough time doing that now.
Last weekend, I was telling my friend Peggy about an experience I had while out in my car recently, and how thoughts of a blog post came to my mind as I was driving. When I got home and sat down at the computer . . . I was stuck. I couldn't put into words the thoughts I had while in my car.
I feel like, when I am at home, everything is moving so quickly. As if I am in the middle of a spinning roller coaster that just won't slow down.
So, for me to FLOURISH this year, and find my words again . . . I need to do something.
I need to make a change.
Maybe it's in how I tell my stories here. Maybe I need to find a reference for sharing my thoughts. Like a photo . . . or something. Maybe I need to highlight a photo and talk about it, just to try and get my creative words going again.
I'm not sure.
Maybe, it's meditation. My friend Kiki sent me a meditation CD years ago. Oh, yes . . . I remember . . . and I did enjoy that. But it's run was short lived, and I quickly stopped allowing myself the time to sit in that peaceful state. Maybe I need to do that again, to allow my mind time to calm down and to refocus.
Maybe that's it.
I do know that I need to do something. Because without my words . . . FLOURISH seems almost impossible.
And I'm not going to give up on anything this year.
Least of all . . . ME.
How are you doing, my friend? What do YOU do to turn off the chaos in your life, and allow the words to come? Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts . . . I need the inspiration, for sure!
As always, I wish you peace.