Keeping it Real . . . 2

Time for another "Keeping it Real!" post.

Here are some of the truths in my life this week . . .

The truth is . . . I don't like the heat. Heat, is heat . . . whether it's dry heat, humid heat, north heat, south heat . . . it's heat, and my crevices don't like it, at all! It's been darn hot here in the mid-west (and all over the country) this week. And while I don't love the heat - I am enjoying our little pool. It's amazing how a $200 investment can bring so much joy to our days. :)

The truth is . . . I am so glad that some of the summer activites for Katie and Ella are coming to an end. While I really wanted the summer to be full of lots of fun things for them to do, I'm tired! It seems each and every day, we are running to some sort of activity or another. I'm ready to just enjoy the time . . . in our home . . . without having somewhere to be. Welcome July!

The truth is . . . the things that used to matter, mean very little to me now. And the things that I have either brushed off in the past, or have not given much attention to, are truly what matters most. Spending less time looking at the clock, and more time just "being" has been a great experience for me. And that freedom has provided some great moments for me this week. I like that. A lot.

The truth is . . . I like our gym club membership. Yes, I really do. Don't tell anyone, though. I don't want anyone to think I am actually enjoying exercise. But . . . I feel so good when I am done with my workout, and I walk out of that place (nasty sweaty clothes and hair, and all), with my head held high! AND, I actually have been going regularly for two weeks now! Wooo hooo!

The truth is . . . I miss painting. Haven't done a single thing in my studio for almost two weeks, and prior to that - all I was doing was organizing and preparing and mailing and business stuff. I haven't painted in a while. And I miss it. Terribly. Painting has become something necessary for my spirit, and I am going to get myself down there and paint this week. I MUST. My spirit needs it - bad.

The truth is . . .  I will always be a Chicago Cubs fan . . . no matter what. We took the girls to a game this past week, against the New York Mets. And the Cubs lost . . . BIG TIME. (Mets - 17, Cubs - gulp - 1). It was a BAD loss. But I will always be a fan of theirs, no matter what happens. It's in my blood. And it will always be.

The truth is . . . Life is good. And that is for real.

Join the revolution . . . and write your own "Keeping it Real" Post! Grab a button, write a post, and link up with your story here!
<center><a href="http://fromchaoscomeshappiness.com"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MKFvYQeE49U/T96ZalYSdHI/AAAAAAAADXk/jDr5xVtO6pA/s200/keeping+it+real+button+small.jpg" /></a></center>Feel free to link up below:

Gone too Soon

A girl in our community died last week.

She was 18 years old. She graduated the catholic high school in town just this past May. She was said to be full of life and happiness. And she died.

Apparently, drugs are involved. I am not sure what kind, and at this point - does it really matter? But, from what I have read in the condolences and comments on various online sites, it was drugs that did it.

I didn't know this girl. Although I can just imagine now that I probably crossed her in the street at some point in our lives. I could have easily drove right past her in parking lot at Ella's Preschool, since the schools are located nearby. Or, perhaps she was in line behind me at the McDonald's once or twice. Maybe she was the teenager I "shhhh'd" at the movies that one time last year. Or, she could have grabbed a coffee at Starbucks with a friend of hers once, as I smiled at their  friendship from across the room. Maybe, even, I shook her hand in church during the sign of peace, once or twice.

Whenever it was, I probably have seen her in the 11 years I've lived in this community.

But now, she is gone.

I wish I could have saved her, you know? I do this . . . hear about a death of someone and wonder if I could have done something to change the outcome. Like the tragic massacre at a nearby Lane Bryant store in 2008. I often wonder if I could have been there, perhaps I could have talked the killer out of it. Or perhaps I could have persuaded one of the ladies shopping that maybe the clothes she was buying didn't quite look right . . . perhaps she should buy her blouse somewhere else . . . and she could have left promptly, and been saved. Or the classmate of mine, who I haven't seen in over 20 years, who passed last year. Perhaps I could have done something to help him.

And this young, 18 year old girl.

Maybe we, as a community, could have gathered around her and showed her the way. Maybe we could have convinced her that life is so much more without the influence of what she was using.

Maybe.

I worry about my own children. How will I "save" them? How will I raise them to make the right choices, the safe choices, in their lives? Katie, who is so easily persuaded by her friends . . . will I be able to teach her to make the right choice and not follow what a peer might be doing? Or Ella, who is so stubborn and thinks she is invincible?  How do I teach her that yes, something could actually bring her down, if she doesn't make the right choice?

I worry. Constantly.

But, I pray, too.

And today, I pray for my children, and this young 18 year old girl who has left this world far too soon. May her soul be at peace, and may her family know that the lesson of her death will play loudly in my mind, and the minds of so many like me.

Wishing you a safe and peaceful day, my friends.

Garden Transformations

I absolutely love watching our garden come to life each summer. Basil that flourishes, bright red tomatoes and deep green peppers . . . each plant brings great happiness to our summer season.

But there is nothing in our garden that makes me as happy as our sunflowers.

Did I tell you about our sunflowers this year?

Last year we grew our sunflower plants from seeds, and were rewarded with some of the most beautiful flowers imaginable. As we do every fall, we cut down all the plants in October and prepped the area for a harsh Chicago winter. However this winter wasn't quite as hard as expected, and we had a much warmer March than ever before. At some point this early spring, our garden came back to life . . . on it's own.

We thought they were weeds at first, but the plants looked a little too familiar and much to kind to be nasty old weeds. So, we waited them out just a bit, to see what they might turn into .

Here is a photo of the garden in mid-May. At this point, Phil had cut down about half of the sunflowers. (We needed some room for our tomatoes and peppers!)

You can see the height of the sunflowers already . . . they were almost 4 feet tall at that point.

Now, one month late . . . the sunflowers have grown far beyond the 6 foot fence. While enjoying some time in the back yard yesterday, I saw the first sign of our flowers . . . peeking out at the very top of the plant.

I had to go in for a closer look . . .

Closer . . .

Oh, maybe from this angle . . .

Nope, let's move again . . .

Just moments ago, the view from our kitchen table tells me that a few more of our yellow friends have opened up . . .

Oh, it's a lovely summer . . . don't you think?

The Sounds of Summer

We spent the afternoon in our back yard today . . . in our little happy donut ring pool . . . playing little happy games of water volleyball and Marco polo. It was a wonderful time, and one that we really needed for all the souls of our little home.

Phil is home this weekend. We are feeling better than ever right now, talking and listening, listening and talking (it's amazing how much actual communication can do for a relationship), and we are really enjoying our time together. I love days like today.

Suddenly, the faint music of the local ice cream truck was heard in the background, and Katie and Ella went into full blown ICE CREAM attack mode.

"P-LLLLLLLEEEEEEEASE? Can we PLEASE have ice cream?" they asked.

It might surprise you to know that I am one tough momma when it comes to the ice cream man. We don't often partake in his delicious treats, because he usually comes right before the dinner hour. And as you can imagine, if the ice cream is eaten, the dinner is usually not.

But today, I had to give in. It was too perfect of a day not to have it include ice cream.

Off the girls ran, screaming for the ice cream man to stop, as Phil grabbed his wallet and quickly followed behind.

I stayed in the pool. Listening to the sounds of summer.

I do think the ice cream man's truck is one of the very best sounds of summer. Today, his melody was carried along with a warm breeze between houses, and it brought an instant smile to my face. I closed my eyes, rested my head on the soft edge of our pool, and listened for other summer sounds as they played.

The soft hum of our air conditioning unit in the distance . . .  a sound of comfort in heat filled days.

The buzz from the bumble bees flying around our sunflowers in the garden.

The bark of a neighbors dog who was certainly requesting his own favorite ice cream flavor.

A lawnmower, a car horn, the trickle of water from our pool filter, and laughter . . . the laughter of children who were just given their absolute favorite treat.

I love the sounds of summer . . . especially today.

Here's wishing you wonderful sounds, where ever you may be.

Peace.

One Work-Out at a Time

I started working out this week.

Yep. I've gone three times in the past five days.

1.25 miles on the treadmill. 3 miles on the bike. And 20 minutes of weight lifting and strengthening. It's not a lot, but for someone who hasn't taken care of herself in years, it's just short of a miracle.

Don't get me wrong . . . I don't like it. I really don't like it. And anyone who says they like it, quite frankly, is lying.

Well, either they are lying, or they have never had really good cheesecake. Because I am certain there is nothing better in this world than cheesecake. And if you say that working out is better than cheesecake, well . . . you obviously haven't had good cheesecake.

But right now, I am working out. And it's good.

I go to a nearby Lifetime Fitness Club. It takes me about 15 to 20 minutes to drive there. So, all in all, the whole adventure is over and done in about a 2 hour window.

2 hours x 3 sessions = 6 hours this week, so far, to better my life.

Pretty good.

I'm actually feeling . . . really . . . really . . . good about it.

And anyone who wants to analyze what I am doing, how I am doing, if I am loosing any weight, or anything else . . . well, take a number. This is not about them. This is about . . . me. What is that old saying, "ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies." Yes, that's how I'm feeling about it. I am taking care of myself. Truly. 100%. For the first time in 42 years.

And it feels . . . really . . . really . . . good.

The kids don't like going with me. They don't like the play area where they stay while I exercise. They are bored, and would much rather be swimming or doing something else. But I sat down with both of them and explained that this is really something I must do for myself. I asked for their understanding, for their cooperation, and for their support. And you know what? They said, "of course, Mommy."

Big sigh. I love those girls of mine.

I went to my mom's the other night. She offered a piece of cake to my brother, sister-in-law and me for dessert. I didn't want it, and said, "no, thanks." 20 minutes later, while looking through an old photo album of a trip we took a couple of years ago, she said, "we have all gained so much weight since this trip."  Well, at least it was "we" and not a "you." It's ok.

I'm taking care of me.

I'm also really watching what I'm putting into my body right now. The girls and I had the yummiest lunch this week . . . nibbles of good stuff (but with limited servings of the carbs). I love the fresh veggies in the summer . . . tomatoes, sugar snap peas, and hummus . . . mmmm.

Yes, it's no cheesecake.

But I know it's good for me. And for the first time, I really get it.

So, that's a big thing I am focused on right now. Taking it all one work-out at a time.

What about you? Anything you are working on? Leave me a comment . . . I'd love to know.

Keeping it Real . . .

Here it is, a few days after my "being the best me I can be" post, and I'm behind in my blog writing and reading. Boy, does that make me mad. But, life . . . . yadda yadda yadda.

The truth is . . . . the past week has been crazy busy, and my mind has been going round and round. And while I am more focused on me than ever before, this current 'state of being' has caused me to take an even closer look at everything around me. And that, my friends, is always . . . . scary. And ugly. But often times, really really cathartic.

So, I decided on a new post subject here at the ol'From Chaos Comes Happiness blog. This one is being titled . . . "Keeping it real . . . ".  I even made a little logo for us . . . well, by us, I mean . . . me, and my thighs.

Yes, my thighs. Thunder thighs. Turkey legs. Chunky Monkeys. Whatever you want to call them. They are mine. And friends . . . I don't think I can get any more real than that. So, "Keeping it real" is going to be a new weekly post of mine, when I share with you the truths of my life. Because this blog is, after all, my story.

The truth is . . . it's not always rose colored glasses here. Lord knows, I'm not always happy. The girls aren't always just bathed and smelling like baby lotion and sitting like little angels reading wonderful novels from writers long ago. Sometimes it's more like stinky little 'played outside all day long' girls with knots in their hair and fights over whose Barbie doll that really belongs to.

The truth is . . . I have a wonderful life. But, having a spouse who travels often can be extremely hard on the spirit. And keeping two souls in line can sometimes take a lot more energy than you'd ever imagine.

The truth is . . . things are challenging right now. And even though my mother does not approve when I share things between my spouse and I . . . this blog has always been and will continue to always be real. The good, the bad, and the ugly. So, sorry Mom. But this one is for me.

The truth is . . . we are fine, PG and me. But sometimes we need to be kicked in the butt to get us in line. There has been a great deal of stress on our relationship this year. But we are communicating. We are listening. We are hearing each other.

The truth is . . . I was not accepted to show and sell my work at the Renegade Art Fair in Chicago this September. This was the very first juried art fair show that I ever applied to, and I was not accepted. I am crushed, and while I know that I can not let this keep me down . . . I hate it. Big time.

The truth is . . . I will probably have to go back into the health care work force soon. Not only to assist in my own financial future, but because not working might be really bad for my spirit right now.

The truth is . . . I am trying to take better care of myself. I am. After an amazing heart to heart with a dear woman last week, I am learning about the layers in my life. I finally understand that I am the center, and if my own soul is not being taken care of, there is no way that I can help the other layers around me.

The truth is . . . being real is really the best thing I can do for myself right now.

I am learning. One day at a time.

So, my friends . . . here you have it. Keeping it real.

Join me, won't you? Feel free to copy the button follow the "Keeping it real" revolution! Come back and tell me about it.

<center><a href="http://fromchaoscomeshappiness.com"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MKFvYQeE49U/T96ZalYSdHI/AAAAAAAADXk/jDr5xVtO6pA/s200/keeping+it+real+button+small.jpg" /></a></center>
Grab a button, write your own "Keeping it real" and share it with us. And look out for MORE "Keeping it real" in the future!!!

Hugs, my friends. Here's to being the best we can be, AND to Keeping it real along the way.

Being the Best YOU you can be

My lifelong friend, Kathleen, was over for a little visit last week.

While the kids (her daughter and my two) were running around the house laughing and playing, Kath and I sat at the kitchen table and did what we do best . . . we vented . . . about life. Mind you, both Kathleen and I have incredible lives. We know it. And don't worry . . . we both are spiritual in nature, and often count our blessings and give thanks for what we have. But every once in a while, we need to vent it out and talk about those little, nonsensical things that are weighing us down. Our sessions are few and far between, but when they take place, we can both usually bring the other out of whatever funk we may be going through at the moment.

It was just like that last week.

"When is enough . . . enough?" Kath asked.

Like so many women out there in the world, we both have been feeling like we are moving in a thousand directions at any given moment. And we often feel like we are not meeting the needs of our children, our partners, our homes, our extended families, our jobs, our lives. We recognize that we are not the spring chickens we were some 20 years ago . . . when the drama of our days seem far simpler and much less important. Now, concerns over our own health and well-being are starting to come into focus, and realization that we can't do it all is surfacing.

"When is enough . . . enough?" she asked.

"When you stop and tell yourself . . . I am doing the best that I can," I answered.

This is my new mantra.

Did I tell you? I am honestly doing the very best that I can, each and every day.

And that is the best that I can do.

I think that's what it is all about. I think we can be a little bit easier on ourselves when we stop and say to ourselves, "Listen . . . I am doing the best that I can!" Perhaps the best I am doing doesn't seem like the best for those in my life. But you know what? It doesn't matter.

For a long time, I was hard on myself. Trying to make everyone happy. Trying to fulfill all the requests everyone else had of me. Trying to be everywhere and do everything. But after 40+ years . . . I can't do it anymore. This year, it's about ME. (Remember?)

It doesn't make us hard people. It doesn't make us cruel, or selfish, or unkind. It simply takes some of the load off of us.  Each and every day I wake up and tell myself that that I am going to be the best person I can be. I am going to smile, I am going to laugh, I am going to love my children with every single ounce of love I have, I am going to teach them to be kind to others, I am going to be the very best ME that I can be.

I may not call everyone I should call today. I may not get the floors washed, or the laundry done, or visit my mom, or call my brother, or stop by my mother-in-laws. I may not make home-made waffles or iron all my husbands shirts (I'll leave those things to Egg-o and the dry cleaners), but I swear, I am going to be the very best ME that I can be today.

And that, my friends, is when enough . . . is enough.

Join me, won't you? Take a deep breath in . . . and out. And let it go.

Be the best you can be.

And know that it is enough.

Today.

Feel free to copy the photo and save it in a post of your own today!
PG made this cheesecake for me for my birthday this year . . . FROM SCRATCH!
It was incredible!
It was shortly after enjoying a piece of it that I decided to start LIVING life . . .
really living it . . .
and letting go of the stress of it all.
Gotta love cheesecake, right?

Wishing you Peace, my friends.

Fearless Days

I had a million and one errands to run yesterday . . . post office, Walmart, gas station, Starbucks ;) . .  .you name it, I probably had to stop there. Driving around town on a beautiful summer day sure can bring you happiness. At least for me . . . that's exactly what happened.

It was the hair.

The bright pink hair.

As I was be-bopping around town, I saw a young girl riding her bicycle with a friend of hers. By young, I'd say she was probably 16 or 17 years old. It wasn't the bicycle that caught my eye, or the friend on his bicycle, for that matter. It was, her hair.

Bright bright pink.
And it made me smile.

Never in my life could I have done that. But boy oh boy . . . I wish I did. I actually wish I could do that right about now. Because I feel it, you know? But I could never do it. 

Remember when you had courage like that? To be who you wanted to be, and not care or worry about it. To be free. Completely and totally free to experience life as you choose to experience it?

I don't remember ever feeling that way.

When I was 16 and 17, I worked every single weekend and holiday at a Catholic south side Chicago hospital in the admitting office. It was an amazing opportunity for me and I learned some wonderful skills that I use my whole adult life. However, you can imagine that pink hair would have been strongly frowned upon by the Sisters of St. Casimir. It's ok . . . everything shapes who you are. I'm good.

But that hair. Bright bright pink. (One "bright" just doesn't seem like enough.) I wish I could have stopped the car and talked to that young girl. I wish I could have told her that I loved her hair, and that she should continue to be just who she wants to be in life. I wish I could have told her that I admire her courage and her spunk (because you've gotta have spunk to have hair like that). I wish I could have had just a minute to see her up close, and tell her she's going to be just fine in this life of hers.

I'm taking advantage of an offer from my friend and fellow artist Robin Norgren for a Life Coaching session today on "overcoming your fears." I happened to be at the right place (facebook) at the right time (yesterday) when Robin was offering a free session to one person. I snatched it up. Because believe it or not, I have fear. And I want desperately to overcome it.

Seeing the girl with the bright pink hair sort of solidified this for me. And while I don't imagine I'm going to walk away from Robin's session with bright pink hair, I do feel like it's going to help shift something in this universe for me. And that, my friends, is a good thing.

I can't wait to tell you all about it!

Until then, I wish you a wonderful fearless days, my friends! Much Peace to you all!

Happy Colors

I've been extremely productive this weekend . . . cutting and trimming, painting and gluing, sketching and outlining, dreaming and believing. I think it has to do with this new tablecloth I picked up (above).

I bought it our local Home Goods store a few weeks ago (I have re-discovered Home Goods! Oh, how I LOVE that store.) At first glance, I thought the table cloth was crazy busy and a tad . . . gaudy. But after further inspection, it screamed out, "TAKE ME HOME! YOU LOVE ME, and you can't deny it!!" Yes, the colors . . . they spoke to me.

I think this is my new palette in life.

I don't know what it is about these colors. They just . . . make me . . . happy.

Sigh.

I had an amazing evening last night. All my my lonesome. At a Barnes & Noble bookstore. With a cup of coffee, five different Somerset art magazines, two books, and a few uninterrupted hours.

It was bliss.

Here is a photo of the moment.

Makes me laugh, when looking at this photo, how my "Happy Colors" are so very prevalent in the reading materials I had picked up. Isn't that interesting? (Especially since I determined these colors as my happy colors weeks ago.) As I look at this picture right now, it appears I am really drawn to these hues, don't you think? Even in reading materials.

I like that.

I'm up to my elbows in new jewelry that will be hitting my shop this week, along with a couple of new hand-painted picture frames. Have you seen them yet? I tell you, I know that I make them . . . but they really are quite lovely. Click here for a closer look at them.

Wishing you all a wonderful **happy color** weekend!!

Peace!!