The 4 a.m. Memory

"Mommy . . . . Mommy . . . Mommy? Will you lay with me for a little bit?"

I looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand. The blurry numbers 4:00 flashed back at me. This morning. 4 a.m.

"What's the matter, honey?" I asked, trying to get my mind and body in sync.

"I just wondered if you would come and lay with me in my bed," she asked. My Ella.

She doesn't ask that of me very often. She is such a good sleeper, and going to bed has never been a big battle with this one. However, every once in a while she wakes in the middle of the night and can't seem to get herself back to sleep. That's when she finds her way to my bedside, and with her sweet little hand, gently nudges me to the land of the living with her soft voice.

I don't mind crawling into her bed with her on nights like that. They are few and far between, and it's so rare that this little one stops long enough during her day for a snuggle, that I love late nights (or early mornings, in this case) when I can lay by her side and hold her close. I love to watch her sweet face as her breathing slows down and falls into a deep sleep. It's heaven.

I found myself thinking of the moment I found out she was on the way . . . when I learned that I was pregnant. Did I ever tell you that story?

It was my birthday, actually. May 21st, 2006.

Phil was on a plane, or heading to the airport, or something like that . . . on his way to Washington, D.C. for business. And I had just visited my gynecologist days before. Something wasn't right with me, and I knew it. Although my ultra paranoid 35 year old self was CERTAIN that I was going through some form of early menopause (yes, I am serious.) I had been growing increasingly irritable and finding myself frustrated at everyone. I was feeling drained and exhausted. I was having hot flashes. And while we had been trying to add to our family for about 8 months, I was certain that I wasn't getting pregnant because I was starting menopause. Yes.  I was so certain, that I almost couldn't believe any other thing could be happening to me.

So, a day or two beforehand, I took a visit to my friendly doctor. Dr. Umpai. Love her.

The morning of the 21st, I was driving from Katie's school, and called Dr. Umpai to check on the test results of some blood work she was had ordered. You see, we thought perhaps it was my thyroid. Or my iron levels. Or perhaps some other rare disease.

As I held the phone to my ear, I heard her review the results.

"Thyroid is fine . . . Iron . . . fine . . . blood sugar, fine . . . LDL HDL levels, good . . . . OH! Here you go . . . here it is . . . YOUR PREGNANT!" she announced.

"I'm  . . . I'm PREGNANT?" I asked. I mean, I was already to buy stock in frozen peas and those special hormone replacement creams Susan Somers talks about. I mean . . . PREGNANT?

"Yes!" she answered, "You are pregnant. Very early, though . . . but yes. You are definitely pregnant!"

"Are you sure?" I questioned.

"Yes, Leanne!" she answered. I think she was tired of me asking her the same thing, over and over.

So there we had it . . . Ella was on the way.

I called Phil, and gave him the news over the phone. The joy in his voice was one I will never forget. Soon our three would be a four. A blessing, for sure.

So this morning, as I sat looking at my angel gently fall back to sleep, I recalled the day I learned of her pending arrival. Months later . . . our girl arrived. And I haven't stopped counting my blessings since.

Many of you may follow my facebook page, and have probably seen this photo already . . . it's Ella, helping her Grandma (my Mom) last week. Grandma Carol had her left knee replaced a little over a week ago, and her nurse (Ella) has been taking the best care of her in the world.

Most five year olds I know would be afraid to touch their injured Grandma's legs. Not our Ella. With gentle hands, she knelt on the floor in front of her Grandma and rubbed lotion into her grandma's dry skin. Over and over. I grabbed my iPhone and snapped this quick photo of the moment, because I don't ever want to forget this moment of her caring for her Grandma.

And this morning, at 4 a.m., I said a prayer and thanked God for sending her to all of us.

Because in the big picture of life . . . this is all that really matters.

Wishing you peace, my friends. And tender moments, just like this.

Hugs.

Me . . . in a thousand photos

Ok, maybe not a thousand photos. But, more than one . . . for sure.

In the middle of life right now, I am taking part in a cool project called "101010 - 10 women, 10 businesses, 10 questions". It was born out of an e-course by Kelly Rae Roberts that I took in 2010, and it consists of 10 women from this course answering 10 questions about their business. It's been a great process for me . . .  remembering what was important to me when starting my little creative adventure, and getting me back in line with my dreams for my business.

Starting May 1st, I will be participating in the project. I'll be reminding you about it here, and sharing the link where you can go to see what my answers are to some questions like "What color describes your business?" and "What do you need to STOP DOING in your business?" It's going to be fun to see how my fellow artists have answered them, too.

So, as I was preparing my materials for the project, I decided I needed to snap a new photo of myself to share with my friends. (The one I have been using for a while was from a year ago . . . and age time does change some things, you know?) I cracked myself as I clicked away the camera . . . and thought I'd share some of my silly expressions with you.

First, the "Come to Momma" picture:

Seriously . . . what was I doing?

Sometimes, the higher you hold the camera, the scarier the photo!

Next, the cheesy "try take the picture from above so you don't see the double chin" smile shot:

 The "I really just want you to buy this magnet" photo:

Then the, "if I tilt my head like this, I kinda look like J-Lo" shot:  

The "I have had WAY TOO MUCH COFFEE" bright-eyed

"Really, don't you LOVE this magnet" photo:

And finally, the one that I decided would be my new "official" photo . . . me:

 

Have you ever taken a camera and gone crazy taking pictures of yourself?

I haven't done it often . . .

but occasionally the self artist in me needs to explore.

And boy oh boy, I sure get a kick out of the results!

Go ahead, give it a try . . .

I'd love to see your smiling faces, too!

Hugs!

When our Motor Stops

Note: I think we will do a Blog Post #601 or Blog Post #602 give-away. I'm in need of writing today, and the subject just doesn't fit with a give-away. So we're going to postpone our celebration for a few days, if you don't mind. Thanks, dear friend!

So, my Mom had surgery for her left knee replacement yesterday. She is doing really well today - in a bit of pain (which is expected) - but she is on the road of recovery and needs to go through the steps to getting back to normal. She'll be recovering at home this time, and I'll be staying with her for a few days to assist her with whatever she needs. So far, so good.

Knee replacements. Kind of like a getting new tires put on, don't you think?

While leaving the hospital late last evening, I started thinking about how very much our bodies are like automobiles. No, I'm not the first one to make an analogy like this. But I think it's the first time I really thought about it, and actually got it. There are times in life when our bodies need a little repair work done, perhaps just some oil (medicine) or a little tune-up (minor procedure). Then there are times when we require a little more work, something pretty serious . . . like new engine. The doctors? Well, they are our mechanics. They have studied and gone to school to learn all they can about our vehicles. The nurses? They are there to assist. And us? Well, it's our job to make sure we are doing what we need to do to make our cars last, right?

Yes, the world of medicine is an amazing thing. I'm thinking so much about it today.

Partially because of my mom, and partially because of the news I received when I arrived home from the hospital.

My Aunt (my fathers sister) is ill. After having a tumor removed from her brain a couple of years ago, my aunt has never quite been the person I grew up knowing. And yesterday my cousin left a detailed voice mail on my home number to let me know what was happening with her and what the expected outcome was. To make it short, she just stopped . . . working. Her wheels are not turning, and changing her oil will not help. Adding gas will not up. She's stalled right now, and pretty soon her engine will stop entirely.

The thought breaks my heart.

Wouldn't it be easy to just "fill her up" and bring back the life we remember. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have simply replaced my own Dad's "engine" years ago, and find him walking around as good as new. Or if perhaps my Mom's knee replacement was a process as easy as changing a tire on a car?

Wouldn't life be grand, if only as simple as that? I wonder what kind of car I would be . . . I'm thinking a '57 Ford Thunderbird, like this . . .


Image copyright Ford Motor Company .

I love that car . . . cool . . . artsy . . . sleek . . . and the color . . . LOVE IT.

So I'm focused on the important things today (like, what kind of car I would be), and recalling memories far more precious than I ever realized.

Our celebration for the big 6-0-0 will come in due time, and I know you all understand.

Thinking of you all . . . and wishing you wonderful days and happy motors.

Um . . . Post # 599.9

"WHERE IS THAT MONDAY VLOG?!?!?!??"

"YOU SAID THERE WAS GOING TO BE A MONDAY VLOG!!!"

"YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE A GIVE AWAY!!!!"

"WHAT'S UP WITH THAT????"

Yes, I hear you.

I hear you loud and clear.

But my friends . . . I've been busy today.

I've been . . . working.

Yes, I have.

On my Etsy Store.

It's open, by the way.

Did you hear that?

MY ETSY STORE IS OPEN!!!!!

WOOOOOOooooooo
HOOOOOoooooOOOOO!!!!

You forgive me for not having the Vlog all ready for you this morning, don't you?

I mean, you understand.

Because, you know, I've been WORKING!!!

:)     :)     :)

So, do me a favor, will you?

Go on over to that Etsy Store and pay me a visit, will you?

Here's the link:

Leanne's Etsy Store

You're going to love it.

Now, I know I don't have a lot of stuff in the store now.

But people . . . I'm making BIG strides here, don't you think?

AND I'll be adding lots of goodies in the coming weeks.

You see, I've got BIG plans for us.

Oh, and I've got so many stories to write about here . . .

my head is spinning.

Yes, it's all good.

SO good.

So, visit me at my Etsy store,

and then come back here tomorrow for our

Magnificent TUESDAY Vlog #600

AND

for a GREAT BIG GIVE-AWAY!!!

Hugs.

To each and every one of you.

The After

Greetings, dear friends! And welcome back to "The After" of our living room project. Yes, it's been a fun week of DIY tricks here . . . really, we just painted our living room. That's all. No walls knocked down. No drastic room changes. Just a different color on the walls.

But it feels so good, you know?

Yes, I've been feeling stuck and in a rut for a while now. Since I stopped working last July, I have been spending most of my days in this house . . . God bless all the folks out there who spend all their days in their homes. It sure can get on my nerves.

So, PG and I started talking about changing things up here. And I am thrilled.

We started with the living room.  If you remember, last week I shared a "before" photo with you . . . how the room has looked for the past (gulp) 10 years.

Yep. That's how it's looked for quite a while. I'm not sure if you can get a total picture of the color it was, so here is another shot of the room taken around the holidays a few years ago . . .

It's a little blurry, but you can definitely see the orange walls.

And here, my friends . . . is the new room. . .

I have to say, I am so happy with how the new color looks. It's lighter, but still so welcoming. We also bought a new rug for the room, new pillows for the couch, and added some old framed art work from our bedroom. I couldn't believe how great the art work looked with the new color.

Here is one more look from a different angle . . .

 And a close-up of the pillows . . . I just love the pillows . . .

Here is a photo of the room in natural light. This is how it usually looks as I walk into it each day. I'm really pleased with the outcome. . .

It's been a great project, and even though all the furniture is the same, it is a big change for us. We are moving on to re carpeting the stairs going up to our second floor, and all of the bedrooms (that will be done on April 24th.) After that, we're going to make some changes to our kitchen. Then . . . I think we'll be done.

So, there you have it.

Make sure you come back on Monday for our next Magnificent Monday Vlog. YES! I'll be back for more video mayhem!! AND it will be post #600 . . . so I'll be announcing a special give-away for one lucky winner! I am  also working on a special art piece for our hall way, and I can't wait to share it with you. Plus, I've got a great quote for the week.

Moving forward, my friends.

I'm moving forward.

And it feels great.

Wishing you peace on this wonderful Saturday!

2 Phone Calls and 1 Email

2 Phone calls and 1 email.

All received today, from loved ones and friends far and near.

Each one saying pretty much the same thing . . .

      "What's going on with you?" 
            "Where have you been?"
                  "Why aren't you writing?"
                        "Where's the vlog?"
                               "What's happening?"
                                     "Are you alright? Really?"

2 Phone calls and 1 email.

How cool, don't you think? Yes, I am blessed. My support system is far and wide, and each time I begin to feel alone . . . out of the wood work they come. Angels, I call them. And I am surrounded by them. If you were one of the three who reached out to me, I thank you and I love you. Truly.

      "What's going on with you?" was one of the questions asked of me today.

The answer? I'm . . . living. It sounds much more pathetic than it really is. The truth? I'm finding my way. I'm thinking . . . alot. I'm taking deep breaths and trying to enjoy the little moments in my days. There was a time not so long ago when I was able to write freely about these little moments in my days. Lately, it's harder to write about them. Harder to sit down at this computer and click away at the keys. But, I'm trying.

I am having moments that are magical . . . I promise you that.

I actually have been doing a different sort of creating these days. We are changing some things in our house, did I tell you? This June, we will be in our home for 11 years, and it is time we start making some changes. Our upstairs carpeting desperately needs to be replaced, the living room and hallways need to be repainted, and it's about time we add that back splash to our kitchen. My nose has been stuck in what feels like thousands of home decorating magazines, and HGTV has become my best friend. There isn't a single home improvement job that I can't handle! (kidding! But don't they make it look so easy?)

So, we started this past weekend, with our living room. Did I ever tell you about our living room? Here is a photo of it from a few years ago.

Yep . . . here it is. And it has look this way for about 11 years. I am a BIG fan of Frank Lloyd Wright, and had a vision of what I wanted this room to look like the moment we built our house in 2001. Phil completely supported my idea, and our ORANGE room was born.

And boy-oh-boy, this room has taken a lot of heat through the years. I remember it was the very first room that Phil and I painted when we moved into our house. We picked the color out together, and worked on the dry brush cross hatch glaze technique for hours and hours . . . I remember my arm muscles being so sore once we finished.  I also remember my Mom coming over the day after we finished it and clearly telling us how much she disliked the color. I think she said the color made her feel anxious. But, we didn't mind. It was our house, and we were so proud of this room.

As our living room, it is the first room guest step into when coming to our home. It houses our Christmas Tree during the holidays and has served as a dining room for a few family gatherings, too. It's my quiet space. My thinking space. My warm and inviting space. My happy space.

But, it was time for a change.

The furniture is in good shape, so most of it is staying. But the color of the walls, the rug, the curtains . . . all gone. And let me tell you . . . I LOVE the new look! I'll share an "AFTER" picture with you in my next post. You're going to LOVE it!

Next job will be the carpeting. Then the kitchen. I'm having fun with all of this!

All of these changes are REALLY good for me right now. I need to change my environment . . . the Gemini in me is needing to look at things a little bit differently right now, and I am loving all of these projects.

Other than the house, my focus is on these two . . .

Here they are during a particularly beautiful Easter Sunday afternoon. Although our Easter Bunny brought a little too much chocolate (and our little Ella has been feeling the after shock of sugar overload all day today), we still are having a wonderful spring break week.

That's all for now, my friends. This is . . . officially . . . blog post # 598!!! Remember, I'm planning a wonderful give-away to celebrate my 600th blog post. Holy cow . . . I still can't believe I am approaching blog post 600! No wonder I'm at a loss for words lately. I've written 598 POSTS PEOPLE!!! That's A LOT of writing! ;) 

I am thrilled to be here, though. And can't wait to celebrate the BIG 6-0-0 with you!

See you in a day or two with "after" photos of my living room, and other tales of our happy chaos.

It's ALL Good!

My friend Peggy told me last week that she doesn't like when I am quiet; when I don't blog; when I don't vlog; when I don't update facebook. All of that kind of stuff that used to happen like clockwork for me. She's right, you know? She knows me so well. Usually when I am quiet with my words, that means I am internalizing something or working through something in this dangerous mind of mine. Sometimes I feel as if I need to retract.

It's ok. Really. It's all good. SO don't worry about me, ok?  Just know that I am working through some things. I'm here . . . checking in with all of you . . . reading all of your blogs (even though I am not commenting). I just need to be still for a little bit. Quiet. Breath. Focus. Dream. Believe. All of that.

Now, to some GOOOOOOD stuff. This has been a really exciting week for me!

Did I tell you? This May, I am participating in a really inspiring project with some WONDERFUL and amazing souls. You can read more about it at 10 Women. 10 Businesses. 10 Questions. Link on over to the sight and take a few seconds to read about the project, if you'd like. The short take . . . 10 women with 10 businesses, sharing their thoughts and feelings on 10 questions regarding their personal journeys. LOVE IT!
The question I will be answering is absolutely PERFECT for me:

The hardest part about pursuing a dream is . . .

I am so excited to be a part of the FIRST GROUP of participants. Special thanks to artist and fellow flyer Robin Norgren for coming up with, and faciliting, this whole project. If you don't know Robin, click on her name to link over to her sight and see what an amazing soul she is. The more I learn of her, the more I like her. Really. She's just . . . cool.

Stay tuned here for more info on 101010!

In addition to that news, I have to share another really cool story with you.


Another artist, Christy Nimeh (link on over to check her site out) started a new opportunity and give-away over at her blog this week call "Finish Your Painting". Taken from Christy's own words, here she explains her new give-away concept: "So here’s the deal. I will start a new painting about once a month or so. Nothing big, just splashing some paint and maybe some marks and text. Then I will post a picture and ask YOU for direction and how YOU think that I should finish the piece. The person who’s  answer inspires me the most, will GET the painting! Super simple, all you need to do is leave a comment on my blog."

Isn't that the coolest???? I love that idea!

So, last week, Christy posted this picture:

painting in progress by Christy Nimeh

I just love Christy's whimsical style, and I love the colors and the shapes and just everything about this piece when I saw it.

The comment I left for Christy regarding my vision for this piece was as follows:  " . . . I see a round (delightfully chubby) red cardinal sitting right in the middle of the canvas, with his beak pointing to the skies as he sings a charming little melody for all to hear. It looks to me like there is a fence there, so he is sitting on the fence. Floating in the back are small music notes . . . in a primitive style . . .
Red Cardinals are rather special to me in my life, as my father and I used to love to watch them together. My dad passed away 8 years ago, and whenever I see a cardinal now, I immediately feel like it is my father sending me a message that he is still with me. My dad used to mimic the cardinals call by whistling, and for some reason . . . the minute I saw your picture, I thought of my dad and knew that cardinal should be sitting right there . . . singing. What a fantastic idea . . . can’t wait to see which direction you take your piece. SO talented, my friend!!!"

Well, I guess you can imagine by now . . . I WON! Christy LOVED my idea for the painting, and is going to complete her design and painting with the vision I had. And I WIN THE finished painting!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I am SO excited, I can't wait to see where Christy takes it. And don't worry, I'll be sure to share it with you here.

So. my friends. This is where I'm at. It's all good. I'll be back with a Vlog soon (I PROMISE!) I also have a few other things up my sleeve that I think you'll enjoy. Don't give up on me yet, ok? I certainly haven't given up on myself. And know that I am thinking of you!

Peace.

Lessons in the Cellar

I spent the day in the cellar yesterday.


The Scrapbook Cellar, that is.

A day with three of my dearest creative souls.

 The three people who I can't hide from.

The three people I can't cover things up for,

and who can see right through me.

 I hate that.

 ;)

Actually, I love that.

Because I can't sugar-coat anything for them.

They see right through it.

They call my bluff. They get me.

Sometimes a person just wants to be "got", you know?

 I usually leave the cellar having learned a number of lessons.

Yesterday was no different.

 The biggest lesson I learned?

 I have issues.

No, I'm kidding.

I mean, I'm not kidding that I have issues.

I think we determined that I definitely have issues.
And I really am my own worst enemy.

What I am kidding about, though,

is that that wasn't the biggest lesson I learned.

 The biggest lesson I learned was that

I must stop listening to that voice inside of me telling me YOU CAN'T

and I must start listening to my own voice telling me YOU CAN.

That was a huge lesson.

There is a big world out there, my friends.

Deep Breath.

And, yes . . .  

Breath.

I can.