The Rainbow of 2011

I'm ready. I know many of you are, too.

Good-bye 2011.

I sat this morning and made up my little photo collage of the past year. I like to do this at the end of the year, sort of like putting a nice little bow on the year that was, and tuck it away for a while to let those memories simmer for a bit.

In my mind, I'm welcoming the New Year with open arms . . . ready for it to take me in whichever direction it chooses.

But I have to admit, as I look back at the photos of 2011 . . . I had one incredible year. Really. Absolutely incredible.

Colorful, wasn't it? I like that. Color. It surrounded us this year. What a blessing.

From banana suits, to meeting my dear blog friend Kiki,  it was a year of smiles. From quiet moments in my car, to vacations to New Orleans and Disney World, it was a year of adventures. From celebrating a Royal Wedding, to watching the birth of three baby birds, it was a year of watching as life unfolds around us. From duck tape purses, to starting my own art business, it was a year of creating.  

My Life. My Loves. My Art.

That is what it is all about, for me.

Through it all, it was a year of love.

And it was an honor to share it all with you.

Wishing you much Peace, Love and Courage in the New Year, my friend.

Welcome 2012!

The Return of Me

I'm finding myself again. Little by little, small pieces of me are coming back. Finally.

I've been gone for a while. A few weeks, at least. Burned out. Unplugged. Drained. Every ounce of energy that once was mine had left me. I felt it. In my very soul. But, this very day . . . I feel it coming back. I threw myself into my business and my art the past few months . . . and took little time, if any, to slow down and breathe. It caught up with me. Periods of total exhaustion and emotional emptiness took over. And I shut down. This past week, I found our couch . . . and that, along with some wonderful movies (It's a Wonderful Life, The Bishops Wife, Sherlock Holmes, Gypsy, and Little Women) have pulled me away from all of the worry and the over analyzing.

God Bless my PG, he has been picking up in my mental and physical absence; doing laundry, washing dishes, parenting, everything. I'm not totally sure he understands what has been going on in my mind, but I sure am grateful he has been here. I am blessed. I know it.

Today, I'm feeling that little spark. I feel hope. I feel courage. Funny . . . it's not even 2012 yet (I didn't quite expect the "COURAGE" yet. I'm glad it's here, though.)

We went for Chinese food on Christmas Eve. It was the first time (ever) that we didn't gather at a family members house, as we decided to play it really low key this year. By Christmas Eve, I had already decided to keep forging ahead on my quest to live a creative life. And while the guilt of not working and bringing a steady income into our lives had me worried, I could not have been more thrilled when dinner was over and I opened my fortune cookie. You see, sometimes a simple little fortune cookie can let you know that you are on the right path . . .

The universe is on my side, don't you think?

So, today I find myself sitting at the kitchen table . . . with a stack of inspiration . . . filling my soul . . . feeling better. Feeling more focused than I have in weeks. Feeling like my creative mojo is slowly returning.

These books do it for me. And those three photos of me were taken during my time at The Creative Connection Event last September . . . when I started my journey. I am happy in them. 100% happy. I want to remember that feeling, and love to look at those photos.

I also pulled out the "brave girl" journal that I made during that event.

Did I ever tell you about this book? I took a class with Brave Girl Melody Ross herself, and put together this magnificent soul journal. I had almost forgotten about it, and probably haven't picked it up in months. But today . . . I opened it up and found myself returning to those very feelings I had . . . the courage . . . it's all right there.

This book will be by my side in 2012 . . . it tells me everything my soul needs to hear.

I love this feeling I have today. The renewed spirit. The energy that is slowly returning. It's a good way to start the New Year, don't you think?

How about you? How are you feeling? Leave me a comment and let me know. I'd love to hear from you.

Wishing you Peace and Courage, my friend.

Word of the Year: 2012 Edition

We're getting close, my friends. Time to look ahead to the New Year with one word. Yes, I'm talking about that Word of the Year! I'm thinking about it again. Wondering what my focus is going to be for 2012. The idea originates from Scrapbook extraordinaire Ali Edwards, who reminds us that, "One little word can have big meaning in your life if you allow yourself to be open to the possibilities."

In 2008, I wanted Peace. I looked hard for it. I took deep breaths often throughout my days, and I found it. I meditated. I prayed. I tried to live with Peace in my heart, and put peaceful energy into relationships that needed it. It was a wonderful word for that year.

In 2009, I sought Balance. I needed it, bad. With a husband whose job required him to travel more and more, I felt like I was drowning between home and my own work, between being a Mom and being Me. I needed it to stop. I needed to focus. I needed balance. I said “no” to more things, and I said “yes” to things that brought something good to my life. It was a wonderful word for that year.

In 2010, I yearned to Create. The inner artist in me was starving for attention, and it was time I returned to my roots. I photographed, cooked, painted, scrapbooked, baked . . . I even gardened (which is the true sense of ‘creating’, don’t you think?) It was a wonderful word for that year.

In 2011, I chose to Believe. I wanted to believe in the things that were important. Believe in the dreams. Believe in today. Believe in tomorrow. Believe in You. Believe in Me. Who would have known that 2011 was going to present itself with so MANY opportunities for me to BELIEVE. Losing my job, starting my creative art business . . . so much I needed to BELIEVE in. Yes, I do believe that word picked me long before I picked it.

And here we are, days away from 2012. An opportunity to start anew.

I'm a little nervous for the New Year. Excited, but nervous. I've been given some opportunities, but I've decided to keep moving forward in my current direction. I'm not giving up. I believe in my art; in my character, in all that I have inside of me. But I need something to help me get through this time. With that, I share my word of 2012 with you.

cour·age 

1. the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger,

pain, etc., without fear; bravery.

2. Obsolete . the heart as the source of emotion.

I love it.

Already.

It's me.

It's exactly what I need right now.

It's exactly what I am feeling.

It is going to stay with me all year long . . . .

and I can't wait to see where it takes me.

What is your word?  Have you thought of it yet? Do think of it. I promise . . . it will be with you all year long, during your hardest days. Leave me a message with your word for 2012, or write a blog post and share a link with us. I'd love to know what you are focused on.

Much Peace, friends . . . and courage.

For You . . .

Much Love and Peace,

Leanne

The Happiness Telegram

On Sunday, I shared my "I will . . . List" with you. The very "I will . . . List" that would soon become the outline of the next 12 months of my life, and probably many months thereafter.

I will . . .

Right now, I'm feeling like I'm moving in slow motion.

An opportunity has surfaced since that very post, that would change my "I will . . . List"

And I feel like I'm moving in slow motion right now until some sort of sign from the Big Guy upstairs comes my way, telling me what I should do. It would be so great if life happened that way, wouldn't it? If a simple telegram would arrive from Mr. G (that would be God, of course) telling me:

   I understand you need guidance STOP My office is instructed to wire you all the guidance you need this very minute STOP Hee-haw and Merry Christmas STOP Mister G

Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful to receive a telegram like that?

STOP

But, alas, that only happens in the movies.

A possible employment opportunity is the in the air right now. Back in healthcare. The "where?" and "what?" doesn't even matter. What matters, is that I might have to put my art on hold. I would hope not for long. But for a while, until I get a handle on everything.

This has me confused.

Am I running?

Or am I being responsible to my family and our future?

Am I giving up too soon?

Or am I just taking a different route right now?

I've worked so very hard the past few months. I've followed my dreams. My soul has grown, and my dreams are even bigger. But I am so far from them. Am I just afraid?

Again, it's just a possibility. But with this possibility comes the questions. And ah, the questions that have been playing in my mind have me spinning. The answers? Only time will tell.

In the meantime, PG is officially on vacation . . . and I am THRILLED. He will be HOME (not only IN TOWN . . . but HOME!!!) for the next 10 days, or so. And my girls will be home and off of school. I intend to spend these next 10 days with the people who mean the very most to me, and I can't wait.

Everything else will work itself it. I've always felt that what will be . . . will be. And if my life is meant to take a different turn right now, then that is just what it is meant to do.

While cleaning up the photos on my cell phone this evening, I found a picture I took in a local art/craft store months ago. I stared at it for a long time tonight. Months ago, I knew what mattered. And tonight, while reading it over and over, I reminded myself. Whatever path I take, I will count my blessings along the way, and choose HAPPINESS. That's what my story is all about.

That's it.

That's everything.

Wishing you a wonderful day, my friends.

And, as always, Peace.

I Will . . .

In a few short weeks . . .

I will have the courage to start again.

I will be braver. Stronger. More determined than before.

I will paint something new. Many things, actually. I already see them in my mind, soon I will bring them to life.

I will return to my blog, this place that has always housed my truest self, and I will fill it with dreams and possibilities.

I will write more from my heart . . . like I used to, not so long ago.

I will inspire. I will motivate. I will do the things that make me feel good.

I will believe.

I will listen. I will support. I will encourage.

I will begin something new.

I will read your words, grow through your stories, and let you know that I am doing so.

I will find my passion once again.

I will listen to those quiet whispers in my heart . . . and keep moving forward.

2011, you've been quite good to me. But 2012 . . . oh, I've got some plans for us.

It's going to be wonderful.

I will never stop believing.

No Magnificent Monday Vlog post today. So many loose ends to tie up, and lots to get ready for in the next few days. I am happy to announce that I WILL BE RETURNING with our Magnificent Monday Vlogs in 2012!!!! Just taking the next couple weeks off from them . . . to nurture the soul, you know? I think I will start 2012 with a couple of guests on the Vlog. Oh, I've got something up my sleeve, for sure.

I've been doing much of that this past week, since my "bah-humbug" rant on Tuesday. Nurturing the soul, that is. I've been reconnecting with dear friends from a lifetime ago, spending time with my family, laughing and laughing and laughing. I haven't baked a single cookie so far this year . . . and you know what? It's OK. It's better than OK . . . it's darn near PERFECT.

Yesterday we walked through the Brookfield Zoo for their Holiday Lights Festival with PG's Aunt, Uncle and their granddaughter. It was such beautiful night and the holiday lights would put any Scrooge into the very best of holiday moods.

Phil's Aunt Rose is a dear woman whom I admire so very much, and I always cherish time spent with her. I recently shared my blog information with Aunt Rose, who wasn't very aware of the whole blogland world until talking about it with me. As we strolled through the zoo, she said "I've been reading some of your blog posts. Your stories and writing leaves me with a 'feel good' sort of feeling. Is that what it's all about?" and I responded, "Yes, Aunt Rose. That's exactly what it is all about."  I thought about it more and more as we continued our walk. Feel Good. Yes. That's what it is all about.

I will FEEL GOOD.

How about you? Any plans for your New Year? What will you? Leave a comment and let me know . . . or write a blog post about it and share it with us (we'll come visit. It will be fun!)

Peace, my friends.

Bah-Humbug

 

Image from Disney's
"A Christmas Carol"
starring Jim Carrey

Feeling a little . . . blah today.

Feeling tired.

Unmotivated.

Uncertain.

Feeling like Ebenezer himself gobbled up my cheery soul. 

BAH-HUMBUG!

I think it's from lack of sleep. While we had a rather exciting weekend (which I shared with you on yesterdays "Magnificent Monday Vlog"), I spent two days last week caring for little Ella, who came down with a 24 bug, and was once again woken at 2:30am THIS morning by Katie, who seems to fighting a bug of her own now.

I'm going on with about 3 and 1/2 hours of sleep right now. Oh, lack of sleep is a terrible thing.

And with that, comes feelings of poopiness.

Those of you who know me, know that I am just about the cheeriest person this time of year. I am usually glowing with Christmas Spirit and fill most of my December days with the jolliest of activities. For the past three years, I have captured all of these holly-jolly moments with the most loveliest of December Daily scrapbooks . . .



But this year, I didn't do a December Daily. Maybe that's it . . . maybe the absence of this December Daily book has left a void for cheery activities. Hmmmm . . .

I'm surprised now, the 13th of December, that I didn't do a book this year. I would think that because I am not working right now, I might have been more inclined to make a book. But I guess I just didn't have it in me. Hmmmm . . .

Maybe I need to focus on the magic of the season. Those little pieces of whimsicalness that is all over the house. Play some music and listen to the songs that warm the heart and remind me of happy times. Hmmmm . . .

Or perhaps I need to remember what it is really all about.

Yes, that's it. I think I have forgotten, and found myself a little caught up in drama of . . . nothing.

So, here's to remembering why we are celebrating this time of year.

And here's to hoping Scrooge finds another spirit to crush.

I want to get my "merry" on, Mr. Scrooge.

Wishing you Peace.

Magnificent Monday Vlog #9!

What a fast week that one was! Congratulations, again, to Yenta Mary . . . the winner of last weeks give away! I've got two really fun stories that I'm sharing on this weeks Vlog, so I hope you stick around and watch them. I'm fairly sure they'll leave you with a smile!

Have a wonderful week, dear friends. I'll be back soon with more!!!

Peace!

Visit Knitting Contrissmas!!!!

So, did I ever tell you about the amazing Tina from Knitting Contessa, whom I met in September at The Creative Connection Event? No?  Oh, how could that be?  Tina . . . she's a gem, I tell you.

I remember when I first saw her walking into one of the sessions . . . she had the most beautiful knitted scarf draped over her shoulders as if Tim Gunn himself placed it there. Only later did I learn that she, herself, knitted the scarf. Yes, she is a gem. She's as lovely as Paula Deen, and even craftier than Martha Stewart. Well . . . she's just about the next best thing to sliced bread.

Really.

I searched and searched through my photos from TCC, praying to find a picture of Tina to share with you.

I found not a one.

I did find, however, what I am certain is a photo of the dessert waiting on our table during, what I am sure, the meal I ate while sitting next to Tina . . . does this count? (I'm sure there were all sorts of grammatical errors in that sentence . . . but we'll just roll with it, ok?) Here's a picture of our dessert . . .

Tina will appreciate this, I am sure.

So, this brings me to today. My dearest Tina, the Knitting Contessa, has been the host of a lovely Knitting Contrissmas Celebration at her blog this month of December! Each day she has prepared an interview, a project, or a combo of the two, for all of us! She has some amazing talented friends stopping by to share their thoughts with us all. And TODAY . . . (gulp) my dear Tina (deep breath) has included ME!!!!

Yes, she has.

I don't think she had any idea what she was doing when asking me to participate in her wonderful Contrissmass fun! Really!

So, please do me the honor of venturing over to Knitting Contrissmas and reading up some words of wisdom from moi. And don't forget to read some of the other delightful interviews and ideas in each post! (Psst . . . there are LOTS of GIVE-AWAYS, so make sure you leave comments on each post!)

Thank you, Tina, for including me. I am honored to be a part of your December. You are an amazing soul and I look forward to TCC in 2012!!!

Peace, friends!

A Moment, and a Winner!!!!

Oh, dear. Oh, me. Oh, my. I had a moment.

You know. An ugly Mom moment.

And while I'm sure that Halloween passed us by well over a month ago, I swear my head spun around and some green stuff flew out of my mouth.

What brought it on?

My children, of course. Well, not them . . . directly. More like, their actions. Well, not their actions . . . directly. More like, the mess they left in the basement. And the family room. And the living room. Oh, and the hall way. Yep. They were everywhere. And I could tell, you see, from the mess.

I love these children. I really do.
But 30 minutes before three mothers from the "Room Mom" group were expected at our home, I lost my cool. Yep, I did.

Then, I had an epiphany. A realization, you see. That . . . I am not perfect. Who cares if the house wasn't "perfect". I am NOT perfect.
Nope. I'm not.

I'm actually far from it.

My house? Nope. It's not perfect, either. And it's ok. All of it.

Because I am me. Like me . . . for me . . . and not for my house. Right? I'd rather be the me that I am . . . than the perfect person I am not.

Does that make sense?

As soon as my ugly Mom moment passed, I hugged the very children who left those messes in all of those rooms. I apologized for the head spinning, and we all promised to try and put things away when we are done playing with them. And my day continued . . . minus the ugly Mom. Katie and I agreed that the best part of being a family is knowing that you can have "ugly" moments . . . but still love each other with all of your heart.

Ugly Mom moments are sometimes the best moments of the day. Really.

Oh, and the winner of the Cardinal Pendant give away?????? (You thought I forgot, didn't you????)

Yes, I referred to my trusty "print out the comments, fold them up, and let Ella draw the winner" process. And the lucky owner of my new Cardinal Pendant is none other than adorable and beloved . . .

Oh, my dearest Yenta Mary from Food Floozie (check out her blog . . . it's deliciously delightful, all of the time!) Mary and I have been the bestest of blog buddies for years now, and never have I drawn her name during my give-aways! I squealed with delight when I saw that Mary would be the owner of my Cardinal Pendant!!! Oh, love!

Mary, please email your mailing address to me at chaostohappiness@gmail.com, and I'll gladly ship your new Cardinal pendant as soon as possible!!!!

Stay tuned, everyone, for another give-away next week!!!!

Nope . . . the holiday goodies aren't over yet!!!

And here's hoping your "Ugly Moments" bring out the very best in you! 

Wishing you peace, my dear friends!!!

Happy Magnificent TUESDAY Vlog #8 - and another GIVE AWAY!!!!

Wow . . . what an exciting time of year!

Like all weeks, I've got lots of great things to share with you . . . lots of lessons learned this past week . . . lots of things to think about as the holiday season is upon us.

Do you have your coffee (or tea) in hand?

Pull up a chair . . . it's time to chat . . .

Now . . . leave me a comment below, so you can win THIS pendant . . .

I'd love for YOU to have it in your lovely hands as soon as possible!

SO, leave a comment TODAY!

(The winner will be drawn and announced on THURSDAY, December 8th!)

Tweet it, facebook it, tell your friends to leave a comment on THIS POST to be entered! 

Have a Magnificent Day! 

Quick Hello!

Just a quick hello and announcement . . . .

We are off on an adventure that I can't wait to tell you all about. Just a day or two. But it will delay my Magnificent Monday Vlog tomorrow (sniff sniff!)!  So, please come back and have a cup of coffee with me on TUESDAY this week!!! Have much to share with you, as always!!!!

Happy Holidays, friends!!! Be back tomorrow!!!!

p.s. All Ornaments ON SALE NOW for $5!!!!!

Pick one up while you can!!!!

:)

I love you.

A boy I went to grade school with passed away last week.

I haven't seen him in 25 years, at least. But his memory is haunting me these days. In my mind, I see the young 11 year old boy just as I remember him. He is sitting behind his desk, wearing his Catholic school uniform of yellow shirt and brown pants, and he is laughing.

In my memory, I am sitting across from him. And I am laughing, too, at something he has just said. He was that type, you know. Always saying something to make someone laugh.

It's as clear as day.

He was 41 years old. I don't know how he died. All I know is that he is gone.

And it is bothering me. Terribly. Like most things in life, I have to write about it. It seems to be the only way I can work it out. You see, I can't help but wonder about his life the past 25 years since I last saw him. We weren't particularly close. As I mentioned, I haven't seen him in about 25 years. But I remember him. So clearly. He was a nice guy. Really. And I wonder about his life. Now. Was he happy? Was he ill? Did he love? Did he laugh often, as I remember he did in grade school? Is he at peace? God, I pray he is.

41 years old.

I'd like to live to 80. I think 80 is a great age. My Grandma Josephine lived to be 88, but the last few years of  life were pretty hard on her. So, I am thinking that 80 years is a great time to go to move on to my next life.

41 years old.

I say "I love you" to Katie and Ella all of the time. I can't help it. If I am going to hop in the shower, I'll say "I love you" before I leave them in the family room. Once I get out of the shower, I'll always call down to check on them and follow it with an "I love you." I don't think I was raised in an overly affectionate household, and don't have many memories of hugs or being told "I love you" by my family. I felt loved, but I don't remember hearing the words very often. Maybe that is why I tell my girls I love them so often, so that they will remember it. I want them to know, at every second of the day, how much they are loved.

This morning, as I sat in my bathroom putting on my make-up, I heard Ella come upstairs. "Ella, is that you?" I called out. "Yes, Mom . . . I'm getting dressed," she answered. "Oh, ok. I love you," I said. "I love you, too," she answered. "I love you, three," I replied. "I love you four, five, six, seven, eight, nine and ten, Mommy," she concluded.

And I cried. Because I realized that John will never hear the words "I love you" again. And we will never hear John say them, either. 

41 years old.

John, I wish you eternal peace.

And I love you.

And for all those who were in my life those 25 years ago . . . it's been a long time. Thank you for being a part of my life. You are all in my heart today, and I send you love. Where ever you may be.

Peace.