I'm back . . .

from here . . .  

which really is the only place to go when you are looking for happiness . . .  Oh, what fun we had!
I kind of got "hit on" by this guy . . . 

I mean, of course he hit on me . . . who could resist this?

Luckily, I knew my true love PG would save me . . . that is, as soon as he finished his pretzel dog . . .

Yes, that's my man. You can't have him. No way. No how. ;)

I think the best part of this past week was getting away from daily life and escaping to a place where there were no computers, no phones, no people to make happy . . . just our little family and lots and lots of hugs. 

 This is exactly what I needed to help me find my serenity. Hugs from my girls.

Yes, my friends, I think the sign is true . . .

I'll be back soon with some stories about our adventures . . . just wanted to leave a little post this evening to let you know I was back from our little get-away and feeling rested, relaxed, and relieved to have gotten away from the past few weeks of hectic life. I'm hoping to keep this zen feeling a little longer.

I can't wait to catch up on all of your lives. It might take me a day or two to get there, but I promise I'll be by your blogs very soon. Until then, leave me a comment and tell me -  how are you?

Serenity

I've been saying that prayer a lot lately. It kind of keeps me in check. Reminds me that I can't fix everything. Allows to me accept things as they are. It really does bring a sense of peace into my soul . . . gees, I guess that whole "Serenity Prayer" title is for real, huh?

Serenity.
I long for that in life right now.

Believe.
Remember that Word of the Year thing that I do? I had kind of forgotten about it. My word for 2011 was Believe. Lately I can't even remember what it was I was trying to believe back in January. Right now, I feel like I'm trying to survive.

be•lieve

verb \ be•lieved be•liev•ing

 1 a : to have a firm religious faith

b : to accept something as true, genuine, or real

2: to have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something

3: to hold an opinion : THINK

se•ren•i•ty

noun \ suh-ren-i-tee

1 : The state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled  

I'm going away for a few days, my friends. I can't wait. I think this little adventure is exactly what I need to find some serenity. I might blog, I might not. I might read. I might not. I might swim. I might . . . yes, I'm definitely going to swim. And in the middle of it all, I'm going to find some state of calm. Some state of peacefulness. Some state of . . . me.

I be•lieve I can do it.

I might post once more before taking flight - but in case I don't, please know that I'm nurturing my soul right now. And as soon as I return, be ready for some classic happy chaos stories . . . I've been storing up some good ones.

Hugs!

Oh, I forgot to tell you . . . the birdies have officially flown the coup. Sniff Sniff.

Oh, and my birthday was wonderful!!! PG and the girls decorated the house with balloons and streamers, even the fishies had a sign on their tank wishing me a happy birthday. I am one lucky lady, for sure. I did a pretty good job of letting things go this year, and I found solace in a pretty unsuspecting place (will share my story with you about that soon.) Thanks for all of your amazingly supportive words on my last post. I had to laugh when my brother called me and said, "Gees, I read your blog. Sure hope I wasn't the one who did that to you when you were 25." I had to laugh. (I often forget who reads my blog, you know.) Anyway . . . if you left a comment that day, I have to thank you with all my heart. You have no idea how much it meant to me. Really. I cherish you.

Oh, and one question. Do you think Oprah empties her own dishwasher? Do you think she eats in her kitchen? and then fills up her dishwasher with her dirty dishes? Or do you think she has someone do that for her? I was thinking of that this evening as I cleaned up the kitchen. I thought, "Hmm . . . I wonder if Oprah ever cleans up in her kitchen." Don't know why. Just a little "Random Leanne Thought Moment" for you . . . leave me a comment and let me know what you think.

Now, go out and have some fun! And think of me!

I'll be back . . .

Letting Go of Another Year

Well, we are almost there, dear friends.

Tomorrow . . . is my birthday.

40.

Wow.

I'm having a hard time this year. Not because I'm turning 40. Honestly - it's just a number to me. It's just this particular day that I struggle with. Each year, just when I think I have a handle on it . . . I start to remember and the feelings come back. And this year, it's no exception. It doesn't help that I am PMSing this week - everything magnifies when you're pms'ing, don't you think? But even if I wasn't, I just don't care about my birthday. And I can't wait for the day to be over.

On my 25th Birthday, someone had a conversation with me that broke me. Someone who is important in my life hurt me. On my birthday. My 25th Birthday. And while I have long forgiven and have long moved on from that day, it never fails that year after year, as my birthday approaches, those memories surface and I could cry today like it just happened yesterday.

The Who? What? Where? doesn't even matter.

But here I sit, the day before my family wishes to gather and shower me with happiness, and I just want to be left alone.

You know me . . . you read my blog . . . I'm all about the "happy".

And to me, tomorrow is just not a happy day.

It's funny, you know, to think that 15 years have passed and I'm still not over it. I really thought I was. I thought that this year, I would be fine. This year I would forget. This year is the start of a new decade in my life. This year I wouldn't let it bother me. But . . . alas . . .

So, what will I do? Well, PG is planning a lovely dinner for our family (just me, the girls and him) tomorrow. He is cooking all of my favorite things (scallops, asparagus, rice, and cheesecake . . .yummm). And the only other thing I want to do is to go to church. Really. I think I need to somehow try and give it up to the Big Guy, you know? Maybe that will help.

Sunday, we'll be gathering with a few family members and having a little bowling party. It seems like our family likes to gravitate to the bowling alley when there are birthday celebrations to be had. Nothing big - just the little group of us. Just like I want it. Then I think we'll end the afternoon with a little cake and coffee at my sisters. It sound pretty perfect, doesn't it.

In the middle of all of it, I'll smile, I'll blow out some candles, open a few cards, and do my best to enjoy the day . . . for my daughters. Because I kind of feel we're doing this for them. And then Monday . . . life will be back to normal. Our normal. And that is all I'm thinking about.

Sorry to drop such a serious post on you today. I think I needed to write about it. This blog has often, many many times, been a platform of deep thinking and soul searching for me. Maybe this year will be the year I forget . . . let go . . . give it up.

How about you? Do you ever find that you hold on to a memory that continues to bring you pain? What do you do to let it go? I'd love to know, my friend, now more than ever.

Maybe this year I'll . . . really . . . finally . . . let go.

Update on our Birdies

You may recall, a few weeks ago I shared a photo with you of some recently hatched robin's that have been living in a lovely little nest on the corner of our house. Well, we have been keeping a close eye on the these little birdies and I wanted to share a few updated photos with you.

Here is the first photo, which I really believe was taken the the day they hatched (May 6th, 2011). This photo is sort of freaky, a tad alien like. But really cool, too. I remember Phil running in telling us that the eggs had hatched and the girls and I running out quickly to see the new birds. I didn't want to get too close, so I held the camera up and snapped the photo, then ran quickly away (Momma Bird was sitting on the nearby fence post shouting some pretty loud birdie profanities at us.) They really look like they just hatched, don't they? I mean, I'm no bird expert - but those look like some super fresh babies.

We really wanted to give them their space, so we left them alone for a few days. We stayed far away from that side of the yard and really talked to the kids about the importance of leaving them alone. About a week had passed when Katie grabbed the camera one day and headed outside. I couldn't believe it when she ran back in and showed me this next photo, take on May 11th, 2011. What amazes me is that the side walk right next to the house is just a foot or two from where this nest is, and every time someone walks past the nest, Momma bird flies fast away. But here . . . Katie caught a photo with Momma, protecting her babies. Such a rare moment. I love it. Oh, and yes . . . that is a tiki torch. We have a number of them leaning up on the side of the house and that is where Momma Bird decided to make her nest. It is protected with a little overhang from our second floor, and by building the nest on the leaning tiki torches, Momma has done a great job keeping them out of eye sight of predators. And don't worry - the torches are all empty (just waiting for a nice summer night).  Hey, I didn't pick it . . . Momma Bird did.

When I went back out that same day, after Katie showed me the above picture she took, Momma was long gone. It was my opportunity to snap this next shot. Again, taken on May 11th, 2011. We see now that there are 3 birds . . . 3 Little Birds . . . born right there . . . life . . . it's pretty amazing.

A quick look the next day, May 12th, 2011. I think Ella actually took this next shot (which explains the angle of the camera . . . just right at Ella's height.) I love the picture, though . . . don't you? Capturing one baby bird with it's mouth open, just waiting for Momma to return. (Gees, that siding is going to need a major cleaning when this is all over. Don't you think?)

The weather turned nasty for the next few days, and Katie and Ella were both really worried about the birds. We had a few rain storms, but nothing that did any damage whatsoever. While the rain was passing through, Katie asked if we could bring the nest inside. I told her if we did, Momma Bird would never return to them, and they still needed their Momma. She understood . . . but I could see the worry in her sweet eyes. Finally we were able to check on them, and to our surprise . . . they are growing and growing and growing. Here they are on Wednesday, May 18th, 2001.

I have been watching Momma bird for weeks now, searching for food for her young and then waiting on a fence post bring food to them. She cautious watches for predators, raising her head at an alert stance when something is wrong. Then she flies in to their nest as fast as can be. Today, I was able to catch a photo of her waiting to deliver some fresh food just found. It may not be pizza hut, but something tells me these birdies are doing just fine.

We've had birds in this same area for a couple of years now, but have never followed them as much as this particular bunch. I think we have all grown a little fond of this birdie family, and I can't imagine what I will feel the day I see the nest empty. Thinking about it right now brings a tear to my eye. I've done a little research online and found this informative site here (Journey North American Robin Tracking Project) that states young robins usually jump from their nest when they are about 13 days old. It takes them another 10-15 days to become strong fliers and independent birds, so I may have them around just a little bit longer. But not much.

So for now, we'll continue to watch them grow and change. And then, we will watch them leave. Much like our own lives, as our children are born and grow. Some day, I guess I will see our children leave. You know, this whole process with this Robin's nest has brought a whole new understanding of the term "empty nest". I could never imagine Katie and Ella ever being big enough to leave. The thought is truly inconceivable to me. But after watching this process with these birdies, I know some day it will happen. Though it's far far away from now, I feel almost certain that I will remember these birds, when my own birds leave the nest.

And that, my friends, is our update for now.

Wishing you and all of your birdies a wonderful, wonderful day.

Oprah and Me



Google Image search . . . Oprah Winfrey 2011

Well, I've come to this realization that it's too late for me . . . and Oprah.

It's shocking. I know.

But she's counting down, you know. I think there are 7 shows left.

I guess that's probably it. I mean, I'm sure they have the last 7 shows already scheduled, don't you think?

Hmmmm . . . . I guess I just didn't make it.

Nope, I won't be a guest on her show.

Bummer.

I always thought I would. Like, perhaps after I wrote that really cool book. You know . . . the one that would make a bazillion dollars that came from a story in my dreams about the vampires? Yeah, I thought that would be me. Or maybe I would be a guest on her show after she discovered I was her half sister. Ok, maybe not. At least I thought I would be on the show when my husband would declare his love for me by jumping up and down on her couch. No? Oh. Ok. Well, then, there was that whole idea I had that maybe someday we would take a road trip across the country together . . . just Oprah and me. But, nope. We never did.

I'm certain we'd be friends, you know? I'm sure that if we'd ever meet, we'd hit it off. I think I would tell her that I just love her hair and she would say I had a fabulous smile and that would be the start of a really wonderful friendship. But, nope. It hasn't happened yet. And I think I've just about run out of time.

Oh, I did meet her once. I think I told you about it during one of my random thinking moments (click here to be reminded.) It was a quick meeting. Ok, it really wasn't a meeting. But I did touch her hand. Seriously. It was pretty cool. But, that was it.

But I'm sure we'd be friends, you know, if she would ever really meet me. And she'd read my blog. Maybe talk to me about life, and she'd tell me that I really should write and star in my very own sit-com about life. This life. My life. From Chaos Comes Happiness. Yes, that's what I'd think she'd say. Then she would invite PG and me to dinner with her and Stedman. To finest restaurant we would go. We'd laugh, we'd cry. She'd offer to pay for dinner, but PG and I would insist we'd cover the bill. (Ok, maybe not.) She'd say she wants to talk "business" with me, but not during dinner. So we'd arrange to meet at her office the following morning, where she would tell me that the world should hear more from me. She'll say that I have a great outlook on life that needs to be shared, and then she'll give me a puppy. (But you know, I'm not really a puppy person. But I'll have to accept this one . . . because, you know, it's coming from Oprah.)

And then, we'll be friends forever.

Oprah and Me.

Yeah. That's what I thought would happen.

But I think I've run out of time.

Bummer.

So instead, I'll just wish her well, as she starts a new chapter in her life. And thank her for the good she has brought to the world (because whether you like her, or not . . . she's touched millions of lives in this world.)

Yes, 7 days left of Oprah. That's pretty amazing. Isn't it?

Good thing she has her own network. Because, you know, a girl has to keep dreaming. And I think my OWN show would be perfect on OWN, don't you? ; )

Best Wish, Oprah! Something tells me we'll both be just fine.

A Star is Born

My dear friends, we have survived yet another fun filled weekend in our happy home. This time, the attention went to dear Ella, our youngest girl, who performed in her very first every ballet recital.

She's 4.

And so flippin' adorable, sometimes I can't even stand it!

The theme of the recital was "Let's Go To The Movies", with about 15 different movie songs being danced to. Ella's class performed to songs from "The Wizard of Oz", which is so perfect for her. Remember when I wrote a post back in January 2010 about Ella discovering "The Wizard of Oz" for the first time? She has been in love with this movie ever since, and having the chance to be a munchkin with her fellow ballerinas was just such fun for her.

Our seats were pretty far from the stage, but PG did a fantastic job getting some wonderful photos of our Ella. I had a pretty hard time selecting which ones I wanted to show you, so I kind of went a little overboard. But hopefully you'll find my comments entertaining, as these are the things I imagine she was thinking as the show was going on . . . 

Ok . . . I'm waiting . . . I'm waiting . . . I'm waiting

I'm waiting . . . wait . . . hey, what's going on over there?

Hey! What do you have over there? Can I have some of that?

 

TADDA!!! "Kansas, she says, is the name of the star!!!"

Holy Cow! That was fun! Hey, where did my friend go? 

  

I think I should show them my cute bootie!

I've got this step down!

Ok, listen, you have to point your toes now and hold your hands like this . . .

Glad that part is over. Now I can sit and watch the rest of the show . . .

I think I'm supposed to be waving, but I kind of like how my hair feels right here . . .

Yes, I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be doing something now, but I wonder if Mommy and Daddy will take me for pizza after this.

Oh, there's our teacher. She's so pretty.

Gees, this thing is itchy. Boy, I wish my pretty teacher would stop talking.

Seriously . . . when is this going to be over? I can't take much more!

Listen, I've held your hands long enough!

Now you two sit down. I am going to take my final bow . . .

Awe, gees. . . thanks for my flowers.

I love flowers. Can we have pizza now?

So there you have it, my dears. Ella's Very First Ballet Recital . . . I can't even begin to tell you how proud I am of her! And, I know that I am partial - this is my kid - but she clearly was the most talented ballerina out there. ; ) Her presence, her grace, her timing . . . just brilliant! She is MADE for the stage . . . just like her mommy! ; ) tee hee!

Ugly Mom + Ugly Cries = Ugly Moment

Being a mom isn’t easy. I don’t know anyone who says that it is. Well, maybe I know one person who said it was . . . but I don’t talk to her anymore, so let’s not worry about that. (I kid.)

I had a couple Ugly Mom moments yesterday. If you aren’t sure what an “Ugly Mom moment” is, allow me to share with you. To me, Ugly Mom moments are like . . . when Medusa takes over my body and my hair turns into thousands of serpents that wiggle and hiss, and then my head spins around like Linda Blair, and flames start coming out of my ears and I turn all green. Then, the screaming starts . . . I lose all sense of vocabulary, and any ability to form a complete sentence is thrown out the window . . . “AAAAHHH!!! WHAT!?!?!!! YOU!!! GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GRUMBLE!! AAHHHH!!!”

I think a wart, or two, appears on the top of my nose, too.

It’s ugly.

PG is on another business trip this week. This time . . . Puerto Rico. Seriously. Before leaving, he shared the weather.com forecast for his time there . . . RAIN for three straight days. I secretly laughed . . . big time. Ok, I laughed out loud. He thought I was being mean. But I was in the middle of an “Ugly Mom moment”, what did he expect?

If you read my blog, you know that I adore my kids. I can hardly remember my life before them, but I would put money on it that I was a lot prettier, as I didn’t have these “Ugly Mom moments”.

These little girls are the best part of my days, for sure.

But every once in a while, I can’t keep up.

Garbage is piling up, clothes need to be washed, clothes that have been washed need to be put away but I can’t fit them in their drawers because I still have last summers clothes there (which, of course, no longer fit), PLUS last winters clothes (which, of course, are way too warm to wear.) And baths need to be given, because a certain 4 year old thought it was a good idea to put Vaseline on her hair and then use Daddy’s hairbrush to comb it through. And Polly Pockets always seem to find the bottom of my bare feet as I am running with a laundry basket full of just folded clothes (which cause me to fall over and drop basket and all clothes). Oh, and the dishes are piling up. Calls need to be returned. Family members are requiring attention. All this seems to be going on the minute a little voice interrupts me for the 15th time to ask if she can have a snack (when she left a plate of her lunch food uneaten.)

You know . . . it’s just normal life things. Nothing really big. Nothing more than what you probably handle each and every day. And most days, it wouldn't make any difference to me. Most days, I just . . . handle it. But then, every once in a while, I feel like I am going to lose it. Whatever “it” is . . . I guess it's that sense of control and the ability to prioritize, and I feel like it has flown the coup and left me for good.

After an “Ugly Mom moment,” I usually cry. You know . . . one of those “Ugly Cries”, when the nostrils flare and the bottom lip shakes and mascara smears all the way from my eye to my ear. It’s almost as if the only way the ugly mom can exit is by having a good Ugly Cry.

Usually when the Ugly Cry hits, the family has completely abandoned me. (It makes me feel good to know that they each have an internal survival mode that kicks in and they realize they had better run for cover.) Lucky for me, one of them will usually return to the scene, just to make sure I am breathing. I appreciate that.

Yesterday, Katie was the brave one. She found me kneeling down in her room, refolding some clothes from her drawers and putting other clothes away. She sat on her bed and reached down to hug me, as I turned to rest my head on her lap and hug her back. She stroked my hair and told me everything was going to be alright. I think she was secretly grateful that the serpents left.

Within seconds, I snorted one of those “Ugly Cry” runny nose snorts, and we laughed. Long and hard. We agreed how silly the whole thing was. And we told each other how much we loved each other. She helped me stand up and we went downstairs to find PG and Ella snuggling on the couch, and laughing at some program on the television. And we all went about our evening. Free from the Ugly. And completely and totally . . . happy.

Ugly Mom and Ugly Cries. Both ugly. But sometimes, really necessary.

Boy, I’m glad that’s over.

Have any Ugly Moments lately? Leave me a comment . . . I’d love to know!

Blessings Abound

There have been millions of time in Katie's 7.8 years on this Earth when I have been proud to be her mom. Like when she took her first steps, the first time she said "Mama", and the many times I would find her doing something thoughtful for her sister (without any encouragement from me.) I have often been speechless at the very thought of her. How smart she is. How caring she is. How beautiful she is. Honestly, I have been blessed with two children who, to me, are as good as they get.

Seeing Katie make her First Holy Communion was just another one of those many moments when I felt a lump of pride and love in my throat, as if my heart was going to swell so much it could pop right out of me.

Born and raised Catholic, church was always something important in my childhood. I am ashamed to admit that I have not done as good a job in teaching my children about our faith, as my own parents did for me. But I am not perfect, and if there is one thing I do know, He will forgive me.

What I can do, is try and live my life following His examples. And I do try to do that, each and every day. Each moment in my life is spent trying to live a life loving others, caring for others, and understanding others. Doing to others and I would want them to do unto me.

And I hope and pray that my children will learn, by my example, how to live their lives. I pray they will make positive choices in their days and treat others exactly as they hope to be treated in return. Being a parent was my choice. Being their parent was Gods choice. Living a life of happiness and kindness is a choice we all must make, each and every day.
Sometimes, even making a choice to have barbeque ribs on your communion is the best choice there is.

Today, I choose to enjoy my life. To live it to the fullest. To give love, and receive love. To smile. To pray.

What choices are you making today? Leave me a comment. I'd love to know.

Fishy Fishy in the Sea

Ok, I’m about to make a few confessions here that I hope won’t turn any of my dear blog friends away. You see, I’m all about honesty in this happy chaos called Life that I am living. This will not come as a surprise to some of you. Others may think they have been completely misled by my overall compassion and joy for life. All life. Or so you think.

The truth is . . . I am not a warm and cozy pet loving individual. Shocking, right? I understand they can be cute, and my heart has warmed up to one photo or another of a golden retriever (or something of the like). Yes, I will admit that some of those darn cat calendars make me feel like a kid again. But, in reality, the whole idea of having some creature (other than the human kind) living in my house sort makes me cringe.

You see, in my book . . . if you walk on four legs, I think you should walk on all four of them . . . outside.

If you have fins, I think you should live in water . . . outside.

If you fly, I think you should live in snazzy little house . . . on a tree . . . outside.

I won’t go as far to say that if you don’t speak my language, you should live outside. But I will say if you are unable to communicate in some human way with me . . . outside you go. I would even prefer some of our plants be permanently moved to an outdoor life, however the rough Chicago winters might not fit in their lives very well, so we do have one or two that dwell within our walls.

PG was raised with pets – dogs, primarily. When I met him, he had a fish tank. Nothing big, maybe 15 gallons. However, he understood and accepted my lack of a pet lifestyle, and married me all the same. He has never really pushed to adding a four legged friend to our family – probably because he knew that I might have to draw the line. However, recently there has been much talk about adding fish to our home. You know the little ones that swim in a tank - a tank that you can pucker your mouth up to - and make fish faces with? Not the kind of fish you put on the grill at dinner time. Katie has been asking for a fish for a while, and you know, I’m a softy for those girls.

So, I agreed.

Of course, I had some rules.

Rules of the House (as it pertains to these fishies)

1. I will not clean the tank . . . EVER (and I mean EVER. Seriously. I think if God intended for me to clean a fish tank, he would have thrown a few scales on me and added a couple fins, perhaps making me an algae eating fish, don’t you? Seriously. EVER.)

2. I will not dispose of any fish whose fishy soul has left our universe. I mean, if PG is out of town . . . dear fishy will have a proper burial (I’m sure our new ejector pump will see to it.) I may even sing a few lines of “Amazing Grace”, but I will not be able to do the flushing of said fishy down the toilet. Uncle may have to be on speed dial when Daddy is out of town. That’s just how it has to be.

3. I must be able to name two of the fishies. In honor of the recent Royal Wedding, I requested we name one fishy Prince William and one fishy Princess Catherine. I think it's time we had some royalty in our house, don't you?

And that, my friends, is pretty much all I am demanding when it comes to the fishies in our house.

So, a couple of weeks ago, PG, Katie and Ella went to the pet store. There they selected the perfect home for our new family members. Lots of thought was put into their surroundings, and Katie and Ella did a fantastic job picking out everything from the rock to the plants to the shells inside. Here is a look at the tank.

It took PG almost 5 days to prep the water in the tank, and about a week later, the four of us hopped in the mini-van to pick out our newest family members. (I knew having a mini-van would come in handy for our growing family.) ;)

The young college aged girl who was working in the fish area really knew her stuff. Her jet black hair and nose ring had a comforting feeling to me – she had to be some sort of artist . . . like a Fish Artist. She was cool. And she was so familiar with all types of fish. She new exactly which ones would suite our family (and our tank) best. The minute she showed me the TEQUILA SUNRISE guppy fish, I knew I had found my new babies. ;)

So, without further adieu, I introduce you to our new additions . . .

I think there is a "Snoopy" floating around in the bottom there somewhere, too (Katie named a few more Snoopy and Snappy. Not sure where that came from, but it's all good). We have to go back and pick up the algae eater, and a few more fishies. But our fish friend (the girl from the pet store) recommended we introduce them in two batches.

So, here they are . . . Batch #1 and the newest members of our family.

Don't tell anyone, but here's one more confession for you . . .

I am secretly enjoying them.

Those late nights when the house is quiet (and all my human babies are in bed), I have found myself kneeling up to the tank, sneaking a few minutes of quiet time with my soothing fishies. They are polite and respectable and really, just lovely lovely fishies. The sound of the water is so relaxing, and I really could watch them for hours. I think they are so peaceful . . . hmmm . . . . but remember - that part is a secret just between us, ok? And I stand firm on my "NO WAY!!" to Ella's request for a hamster. That, my friends, will NEVER change.

Wishing you peaceful moments, my friends. With or without pets.

Pollen, Pollen, Everywhere!

Pollen Levels for our locality taken from weather.com

Last week, the Allergy Gods decided to pay a visit to my head. After deciding how much fun it was, they’ve planted their roots and aren’t leaving. I’m all up for a fun party every once in a while, but this is ridiculous. I feel like someone shoved two dandelions up my nose and left them there to bloom, and after a visit to my regular M.D. yesterday, it’s been decided that I better get myself to an allergist. When I asked my doctor if I could pop my eyeballs out and soak them in Visine, I think he thought was kidding.

So, I’m just a tad under the weather.

But I can’t wait to update you on our weekend – I have lots to show and tell (communions, fishes, updates on the birdies, bunnies - oh, did I tell you? We've been attacked by killer bunnies, just wait until you hear this one.). I’m most looking forward to sitting down and getting caught up on your blogs and stories. It may take me a couple days to get there, as I find it hard to read between sneezes, and holding the darn Kleenex box with one hand puts a damper on my key strokes. AH, well . . . this too shall pass. I think pollen levels are going to be high for a few more weeks, but after that I should be back to normal (well, my normal – whatever that may be.)

Will be by to visit you in a day or two, I promise! Until then, I bid you peace!

Happy Chaos . . . and more!

We are up to our eyeballs in activities this weekend, my friends, as we prepare for Katie's First Communion (on Saturday), Ella's upcoming Ballet Recital (next Sunday), and the birth of some new birdies in a robin's nest in our backyard. In the middle of all of this last night, our ejector pump decided to stop working, and as PG's so eloquently put it, "our house pooped in it's pants." Sorry, again, for the potty humor. But you know, I think that pretty much sums it all up. Yes, never a dull moment in our happy chaos. Oh, did I tell you we have added a family of fishes (in a brand new fish tank) to our home this week, too? Yes, we did. Pictures and story will follow next week, for sure! (You know, there is always a story to tell).

Here are some more photos of Ella from her rehearsal this week. She is just lovely, and she reminds me of what I think my blog friend Nicole (destination unknown) must have been like when she was a young ballerina. So cute.

And here is a quick photo of the just hatched robin's eggs (and birdies). The circle of life continues (insert "The Lion King" music here).

All of this excitement will have me away from the blogsphere for a few days, as we celebrate (oh, and clean the mess in our basement) well into the weekend. I wish you all a wonderful weekend, my dears. I'll be back next week with photos from the Communion, and an introduction to our new fishies. Hugs to you all! And Peace - to my dear blog friends everywhere.

40 Years - A Retrospect

When I was 5, I wanted to be a superhero. My favorite cartoons were The Flintstones and Tom and Jerry.  As the youngest of four children, I often felt like the shadow following along with the others. I adored my parents, and absolutely loved making stone soup in the puddles of our neighbors gravel driveway. My biggest worry was probably knowing that dinner would be ready soon and I'd have to stop playing the moment I was called inside to eat.

When I was 10, I wanted to be an artist. Each and every day I drew something. I also played softball like crazy. My biggest worry was probably wondering when my mom would finally let me wear blush (which would not be for at least four more years.) My sister was also heading off to college around this time, and I remember feeling like was losing my best friend (although I finally had a room all to myself.)

When I was 15, I wanted to be an actress. I was cast as "Miss Hannigan" in our high school spring Musical "Annie", and I had finally found my niche. I received a card from our school superintendent, telling me what a brilliant performance I had given, and I felt like a star. My biggest worry was probably if there would be a boy in high school who would ask me on a date.

When I was 20, I wanted to be an artist. Most of my clothing were in shades of black, and I lived my life based on the comings and goings of friends. I was heading off to a university after a couple of years at our community college, where I was very active in theater. I was not sure of my future and was not sure who I was, or who I wanted to be. My biggest worry was probably what I was going to do with my life.

When I was 25, I wanted to be independent. I moved out of my parents home, and wanted desperately to spread my wings. I worked full-time in the health care field, making a decision to pay the bills rather than follow my dreams. I dated, but not often, and my biggest worry was probably wondering if I would ever find someone to share my life with, who would love me as much as I loved them.

When I was 30, I wanted to be a mother. PG and I had been married for 3 years, and we were building a home. We were living the American dream . . . married with two incomes, traveling the country, buying cars (and things that we probably didn't need). My biggest worry was probably wondering if I would ever be blessed with children.

When I was 35, I wanted to be financially secure. After giving birth to our first daughter, and leaving my full-time job, I started to see the bank account dwindle. I learned what it was like to put my own needs and wants aside and give all that I have to this one little person. My biggest worry was probably figuring out how to do it all - mother and wife, yet still listen to my own inner whispers.

Photo from Google Image Search - source unknown

In a few weeks, I will be turning 40. At 40 . . . I am happy.  I watch just as much Tom and Jerry now, as I did when I was five. I am an artist every single time I create a scrapbook page, or pick up a paint brush while painting at the kitchen table with my daughters. I am an actress each and every time I play princess or have a tea party with them. I am independent, yet I am surrounded by a family who loves and supports me daily. For the first time in a long time, I can buy myself a caramel macchiato and not count my pennies when doing it. I am a mother, a wife, and still call my sister my best friend.



It's a fun exercise to look back at life and see where you have been, and how far you have come. I guess that is really the best gift I can give myself as I approach my 40th Birthday. That is - at 40, I can honestly say I am right where I want to be. I am living this life to the very best of my abilities, connecting with others, trying to make a difference (even if only to my daughters), and constantly counting my blessings. Yes, I think I'm just fine with turning 40. Because after these last 40 years - I can't wait to see where the next 40 will take me.

Yes, my friend, Life is Good.

Contemplation

So much happening in the world right now. The news makes my stomach churn. So many scary scary things. PG left for another business trip today . . . and while his absence is short (only two days this time), the thought of him traveling to the other side of the country right now has left me uneasy. But, he will be home soon. This I know.

Tonight the girls played outside for hours and hours, as the recent gloomy and rainy days have taken a rest (finally.) I sat on the front stoop of our home listening to the sounds of their footsteps running outside, followed by their squeals and laughter. Then I glanced over to my magnolia tree, and found that our tulips are in bloom . . .

As our country searches for those who have fought against us,

As people sacrifice their lives for my safety, and the safety of my daughters,

As men and women, half way around the world, defend the beliefs our country was started with, and protect people who are unable to protect themselves,

I sit and watch my tulips.

And I hear my children laugh.

And thank God, and those who given their lives, and I pray for our future. All of ours. 

And I shed a tear for us all. For those who have come, those who have gone, those who still hate, and those who have the courage to love.  

God Bless us, one and all.