Me and My Chocalicious Kate

Katie is me. . . in so many ways. She is an old soul - and we relate to each other on a number of different levels (that being said, we also know exactly how to press each others buttons. That's my girl!) So, tonight I am sitting at my computer devouring a new blog that I just discovered - Bakerella. Truly - the most ingenious and awesome baking site I've seen - fantastic photography and really great sweet ideas. (I'm licking my lips just reading the posts. You MUST check it out!)

Anyway, I'm surfing the site going through some of its old blog archives, and I find this one, from April 2009. Let me tell you . . . I am happy. Because, as I've mentioned a few times before, I love Chocolate (I love Chocolate so much, that I believe it deserves to be capitalized. Chocolate. Yeah, that's right. Oh, and Cheese Cake. That's another one that deserves to be capitalized. Check out what Bakerella did with Cheese Cake. It's brilliant! Oh, and this one for Father's Day, I mean, that is really made of cupcakes, brownies and shortbread cookies! It's just too much! I love it!) Ok, I digress, here is where Katie comes into the story. Back to the Chocolate. Because, you see, Katie loves Chocolate, too! (That's my girl!) So, I'm sitting here moving through this particular blog post and Katie, who has managed to maneuver herself right on my lap with eyes glued to the computer monitor, says, "Mom . . . STOP RIGHT HERE!!!!" So, I do.

And we pause,

with our mouths wide open,

and look at the melted chocolate.

Katie says, "Mom. . . let's just look at this. Isn't it beautiful?" Seriously. She honest to goodness said, "Isn't it beautiful?" Really . . . it brings tears to my eyes. (My daughter totally gets me.) I said, "Honey, I think it IS really SO beautiful." Then she said, "Mom, let's just imagine for one minute that the bowl of melted chocolate is right in front of us. Wouldn't you just stick your face right in it?" Which causes more tears to my eyes . . . because, again, my daughter gets me. "Yes, honey. That is exactly what I would do."

And there we sat - daughter on Mommy lap. Mommy on chair. Picture of melted chocolate on screen. And all was well in our house. Thank You Bakerella!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!

When is ENOUGH enough?

So, today I took a look at the "storage cabinet" above our refrigerator, and realized that perhaps I went a little bit . . . overboard. I don't know if you ever went through this . . . but preparing for Katie's lunches for FIRST GRADE was a huge adjustment for me. And I wanted to make sure that we had EVERY SINGLE SNACK available that she might want. (What? Did I really just say that?)

Now, believe me . . . I am NOT one of those Mom's who gives her kids everything that they want. I definitely understand the word, "NO", and actually think that I say it quite often to my children. However, there was something about shopping for Katie's lunches that left me vulnerable this school year. I mean, these are her VERY FIRST LUNCHES of her VERY FIRST YEAR in school (. . . right?) Ok . . . How silly is that? What makes this even more upsetting is that . . . contrary to what it might look like . . . we are NOT the Rockefellers. The money spent on those snacks could have most definitely gone to a more appropriate place, like, let's say, the water bill. Or, perhaps, the electric bill. Yes, that would have made sense.

But I don't know what happened. What if she would have asked for the Mickey Mouse Apple Crisp Snacks, and I didn't have them? Or what would have happened if I only had the straight preztel sticks and she wanted the round preztels? Oh my goodness . . . well, it could have possibly stunted her growth and caused her . . . nothing.

It would have done absolutely nothing. Because this little girl really doesn't care what I put in her lunch. She is having so much fun at school, that the last thing she is worried about is her LUNCH. Hmmm . . . I'm beginning to understand. So, Mommy has learned a VERY BIG lesson this VERY FIRST week of school. In this case, I would say I've definitely found ENOUGH!

My Neighbor is RUINING me!!!!

I absolutely love my neighbor Christina. (Yes, I'm writing about YOU!! How embarassing!) Christina is probably the kindest person I have ever met - just a real genuine sweetheart! She is amazing with children (she happens to have my child over at her home many times throughout the week) and I can honestly say that I have never heard her say a negative word about anyone. Seriously. Those are surely traits that I need to work on. Especially now. Because right now, I'm about to say something negative . . . about Christina. You see . . . she is RUINING me. Christina . . . introduced me . . . to SUDOKU!!!!

THE NERVE!!!

Yes, Yes, I know that it has been around FOREVER. I've seen the people at the airport clutching their little Sudoku books with pencils in hand. I've looked over shoulders trying to catch a quick glimpse of what they were doing - trying to get a handle on this sudoku game. But never did I pick up a puzzle and try my luck at it. Never. Until this week, sitting in Christina's backyard, as my dear sweet neighbor was working on one.

That's it. It's all over now.

You see, I'm an addict. I'm addicted to . . . things. To Facebook games, to hand held Yahtzee games, to Wii games, to books, to this blog, to Chocolate, to Bravo TV, to coffee, and now . . . to SUDOKU. The other night I went to Walmart and quickly walked to the magazine area. I found out that they sell these little Sudoku game books (this was all new to me, you see.) I picked one up for myself. Now every night, after the kids are in bed, I find myself playing Sudoku. Calculating and counting . . . moving from square to square . . . just as Christina taught me.

Sweet Christina. I knew there had to be some evil in her. . . some where. Now, I see it. She's turned me into a sudoku junkie. Oh, dear, what will the other neighbors think? ; )

I just wanted to say thanks to ALL OF YOU for the absolutely fantastic replies to my "Perimenopause" post yesterday! You are the best group of blog readers I've ever met (and haven't met)! And I am taking all suggestions and support you've given and am hugging each and every one of them!!! Today I'm feeling a little better physically . . . I only had 1 cup of coffee this morning and have stayed away from sugars and high fat stuff, so that is a little progress. I did make it to the eye doctor and got the eyes checked (remember that I broke my glasses this week?) Well, turns out I haven't had the eyes tested since 2006 (shame on me!). Anyway - just ordered a FABU pair of new shades and will be seeing clearly again in 7-10 days. (Yea!)

However, I'm still finding myself slightly irritated at some people I've come in contact with today (like the bozo who completely cut me off in the parking lot at Costco. Yeah, that wasn't nice.) But, all in all - it's been a pretty good day. Love you all, and sending continued peace and balance to you! (Check back later - I have fun post about my neighbor, Christina. Wait till I tell you about this one!)

Perimenopause . . . Seriously? Could it really be?

I tend to do most of my blog thinking in my car, either going to or coming from work. It seems to be the best time for my brain to be cleared of the day to day chaos that happens in a busy house. On my way to work today, I stopped at the ATM and waited in line to use a machine, when another blog subject popped in my head. The reason I came up with this right then and there, is because while in line at the ATM I found myself watching a woman get out of her car and put a SCARF around her neck. A SCARF. I immediately checked the outside temperature gage in the car (it read 65°) and I thought to myself, “You’ve got to be kidding me! You are COLD? You are putting a SCARF around your neck, and you are cold? I’m sitting here having hot flashes, I’m hotter than a pig in a blanket, and you need a SCARF!?!”

No sooner did those thoughts come out of my head that something else flashed in my mind . . . What in the world is WRONG with me? Seriously. I was clearly irritated at this person. This stranger. Me = Angry. So I started to evaluate what is happening with me that made me so upset with this nice lady (and her scarf.) I mean, this is not of character for me. I’m the one who has written on this very blog about smiling at strangers, dreams, and happiness. I’ve written of love and Christmas and special moments. And I was honest to goodness sincere with all of those past posts. This week, I’m just off.

So, instead of going to the doctor, I decided to do what any intelligent person would do . . . I self-diagnosed by consulting with WebMD. Alright, alright, I know. And, No, I am not promoting the use of WebMD versus a real life doctor visit. I am, however, being honest with the fact that I do NOT want to go to the doctor right now. I mean, I know what the doctor will say (lose weight, exercise, eat healthier, go for blood work, go for your mammogram, lose weight, exercise, did I mention lose weight?) Yes, I know all of those things. And I know that if I started doing just ONE of those things, I would probably be feeling 100% better than I am today. But, since I DON’T want to hear my dear doctor tell me all of those things right now, I consulted WebMD.

WebMD feels that I may be going through . . . Perimenopause. Wow.

I’m in my late 30’s (38 to be exact, and my buddy, Dr. WebMD, states it can start as early as late 30's - or anywhere between late 30's to late 50's), and I think I am experiencing every single symptom under perimenopause. Irregular periods. Check. Hot flashes. Check. Trouble Sleeping. Check. Emotional Changes. DOUBLE check. Headaches. Check. Problems with remembering or thinking clearly. Check.

Can it be? I know that I cannot seriously diagnosis myself with WebMD. I know that. I have a regular routine appointment with my doctor scheduled already for November. What is my plan until then? I am going to make a conscious effort to turn my life around, to a healthier lifestyle. This is not easy. I need to start by limiting the things that make it worse (caffeine, alcohol, stress, foods high in sugars and fats) and increasing the things that will help (plenty of fish, fruits, vegetables, get exercise and maybe try meditation.) And I’m going to probably blog all about it . . . as this blog REALLY helps me work through some things. Hey, maybe this will be it! A number of people have told me that I should write a book - but I have no idea what I would write about. Maybe this is it . . . "A Working Mom's Guide to Perimenopause through WebMD - in 100 Blog Posts" Could you see it? Nah, me neither. But then again, maybe I'll be the next Suzanne Somers for the Perimenopause Blog World. Hmmm. . . .

I am seriously interested in what you are feeling, though. Now, it might be that I am the only 38 year old NUTBALL out there (and believe me, I won’t be surprised if I am). But I am wondering if you find you are going through any of this. Please share with me. I think it’s important to find others who understand your feelings. So please comment below (you can be anonymous, if you’d like, so none of it can get back to you!) If you find that you are losing your mind – let me know. It will help to know that I am not alone.

Wishing you Peace and Balance.

Me Cranky

I’m in a terribly cranky mood. It started this morning, and I’ve been having a really hard time getting out of it. It seems like everything I came in contact with this morning totally aggravated me. Did you ever have one of those days? I’m not proud of it. . . and frankly, I have absolutely NOTHING to be cranky about. Somewhere deep inside my head, I know that. Getting the rest of me in line with that is something else.

I make a conscious effort to keep my eyebrows up. I have an expressive and pretty animated face that clearly wears it’s feelings on it. It’s hard to hide when I’m sad, aggravated or even down right angry. And today is turning out to be no exception. Today, the eyebrows are down. . . bummer.

Today is a cloudy, rainy day. That doesn’t help the mood. I forgot to put on my engagement ring this morning (I only have my wedding band on right now, which is alright, but makes me feel “off”.) I forgot to put earrings on this morning. My eye glasses broke this morning - while sitting right at the kitchen table, the side stick just cracked (the type of break that crazy glue couldn’t fix), so I can’t see things very clearly right now. The rain has given me a sinus headache. My eyes are sore. I think I need to have a pity party right about now . . . want to join me? blah, blah, blah. . .

But then again . . . Wait a minute.

Wait just a minute.

I just remembered something.

Something that is slowly . . . making . . . me . . . smile.

This morning, after putting the finishing touches on the hair (you already know that I have hair issues), I walked out of my bathroom and found little Ella sitting on the floor waiting right there for me. I said, “Morning, Baby. How are you?” and she looked up at me, knowing that I just finished getting myself ready for the day, and said, “Mommy pretty.”

There. Mommy pretty.

Isn’t it wonderful . . . to have this little person think your pretty. Especially on a day when your not feeling so pretty? Mommy pretty.

I guess that is really all I need to remember. That to Ella, I am pretty. And you know what? My eyebrows are up, again. I’m going to try and keep them that way.

Opa! and Aunt Penny!

A couple of weeks ago I had the priviledge of spending the day in the kitchen with a small group of dear relatives/friends. The purpose of this gathering was completely selfish . . . I wanted, for this one day, to be Greek and learn how to bake some traditional Greek goodies. Silly, huh? Our gracious hostess was Francesca, cousin to my sister-in-law. Our wonderful teacher was Aunt Penny. Here is a photo of Aunt Penny, taken by 2 1/2 year old Ella:

Getting together with Aunt Penny was something that I have wanted to do for years. Aunt Penny is the aunt to my dear father-in-law, John. John passed away a few years ago, and connecting with his family and learning a bit of their culture, and recipes, was very important to me. We laughed alot this day, and I realized how important it is to take time like this, before these opportunities are gone. Here is a great photo of Francesca with Aunt Penny (who happens to be her Yia Yia), preparing the phyllo for our baklaVA:
I'm not Greek and I don't speak the language at all - Aunt Penny and the group baking this day can surely vouche that I CAN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE what we baked (I do know that everything ended with a 'VA' or a 'NA' or a 'KA' . . . and had lots of BRANDY inside. . . wait, maybe that's why I had such a hard time pronouncing all of the words!) Here's one last photo of some of what we made: BaklaVA (there's that 'VA' that I wrote of earlier) and Melomakarona (and there's the 'NA'). Let me tell you - I may not be Greek, but I can bake a MEAN BaklaVA after this day!! (I have to spell it with the capital VA, because the group corrected my pronunciation and clarified that I need to stress the VA when speaking.) Did you even know that phyllo dough comes in NUMBERS? Seriously . . . we used #7. . . it's a bit thicker than the regular Jewel store bought kind. Ask me . . . I'll tell you all about it. I'm a professional now.

Thank you so much, Francesca, for giving us the opportunity to mess up your kitchen. And to Aunt Penny, for showing us the ropes. Loved this day! Just loved it!!! (Next time we are going to make Pasticio! Ah . . . something that doesn't end in a 'VA/NA/TA'! Now that will be interesting!)

A Day in the Life of Ella #1

Me: Ellie, did you paint on your face?

Ella: Nooooooo, Mommy.
Me: Are you sure?
Ella: Yes.

Me: Here, take a look at your face (mommy holds mirror). . .

Ella: Ohhhhh . . .

Me: So, did you paint on your face?

Ella: Ummm, Nooooooo.

Me: How did that paint get on your face?

Ella: Ummm, I don't know.

Me: (happy)

There she goes. . .

What is it about that first day of school excitement . . . for a Mom? I never realized that I, the Mom, would be so excited, nervous, and full of tears just seeing the bus turn the corner to pick up my child and take her to school. Katie started First Grade (number 1, the beginning, the start of it all) today. She will now be in school, for the next 16+ years (God willing). I sat at the kitchen table this morning trying to come up with that one sentence that would make a difference in her life, that would solve all her problems and send her out there into the world ready for anything. The one that would leave her hungry for knowledge and confident to ask for it. The statement that would turn her into the first female President of the United States, or a brain surgeon, or an artist, or a teacher, or all of the above. But it just didn't come. How do you sum up all of those thoughts in one, or even a few, sentences? All I could say was, "Honey, if you work really hard and if you learn all that you can learn, you can do anything."

If you are a Mom reading this, who has already sent your kids on to school, you probably understand what I'm talking about. I wanted to say to the bus driver, "Hey, listen, this is MY child you are driving to school. You don't know this - but she is going to do great things in her life. So smile at her. Say 'hello' to her. Take care of her like she is your own, ok?" But I didn't. I watched my daughter, my first born, get on the bus and start this most exciting chapter of her life. Wow. . . I can't even remember what I felt like when I was 6. I don't expect Kate to remember alot about this day, either. But at least through this blog she will someday be able to read about it. And know exactly how proud her Mommy was of her. I Love you, Katie. Always.

Facebook: A Dream? Or a Nightmare? TBD

My Mom is on Facebook. . . seriously. And that makes me a little nervous. I don't know how this happened. . . but suddenly I feel as if my hidden Facebook underground world has just been busted. BY MY MOM. Seriously! Facebook was MY get away from responsiblity and day to day life (although I write mostly about day to day life on Facebook, and read about other day to day lives. . . so yes, I get that it's odd for FB to be my escape.) But still, it is an opportunity to play Donut Donut and Brick Breaking games until 2am, if I wanted to (yes, I've had plenty of long nights doing just that.) My opportunity to keep in touch with people that I haven't seen in 20 years (some even longer than that.) My network to post whatever crazy sentence I wanted to - without having to explain myself. And now I feel as if my secret is out.

It didn't seem to bother me when my Mother-in-law started to go on Facebook. She and I have spent alot of time talking about the games we play and strategizing our success with them. It's all good. But my MOM? I don't know . . .

It's kind of like having my mom show up at a party with the SAME "Date" outfit I recently bought (you know, that special outfit that you think you look really **HOT** in and save to wear only on special date nights with the husband or special someone?) Yes, there is nothing like your 70 year old mother showing up to Aunt Millies 75th Birthday Party wearing YOUR **HOT** outfit to crush the ego. I guess having Mom know my day to day Facebook secrets is just about the same thing. I know, I know. . . I don't have to "Friend" her. But then, how do I explain THAT to her? AUghhhhhh!!!!

So, today I'm pondering what Facebook is, exactly. A Dream. Or A Nightmare.

And I guess the answer to that is still to be determined.

Oh, gees. . . I just realized - I guess Mom will find out about this blog, now, too. Isn't anything sacred any more!!?!?!!

6 Mistakes Made in Hair Coloring

I'm having a bad hair decade. . . how about you?

I feel like every single attempt I make at a style is immediately smashed with fine, lifeless, dried out, bodiless hair. Seriously. . . I don't know what it is. I mean, I'm a chunky girl. I guess God (or whoever) feels that if I can't have a THIN BODY . . . then he might as well give me THIN HAIR. If he decided that I'm to be a plump girl - why not give me plump hair, too???? Why stop at the head???? It's just not fair. (And, yes, I do realize that God does not make me plump. . . however God did create the person who invented cheesecake . . . therefore God is somewhat responsible for my plump bod.)

This week my dear friend asked me if I highlighted my hair. That was a polite friends way of saying, "Girl, your grays are BAD!!!! You really need to color your hair." So. . . I did. Thus followed a series of mistakes. . . To cooperate with the current economic hardship of my bank account - I decided to color it on my own (mistake #1). I bought my haircolor at Walmart (mistake #2) while grocery shopping with a toddler (mistake #3). I colored it on a morning I was off work, while my children seemed somewhat occupied painting at the kitchen table (mistake #4), which ended up being a 5 minute scream fest arguing for the better paint brush (seriously . . . they were arguing over a ten cent paint brush!). I was rushed and stressed, which is why it appears I missed the area near my right temple (mistake #5). And the color? Well, lets just say the color is somewhere between Amber Brown, as it states on the box, and CARROT (mistake #6).

So there we have it . . . 6 Mistakes I made. . . and therefore reasons why I should NOT have colored my hair.

But, when I think about it . . . it's not all that bad. I mean, there was that one time back in the '90s when I went to get a perm at a hair place in Ridge Mall and should have immediately walked out when the lady cut a hole in a PLASTIC GREEN GARBAGE BAG and put it around my neck . . . instead of the usual cape they drape over you. I think it took me 10 years to grow that perm out. Now that was a pretty rough hair moment. . .

How about you?

It's Christmas Time!!!

I was really tired last night. So tired, that I really didn't want to do . . . anything (I had a particularly cranky day at work that took alot of energy out of me and I was drained.) But Phil had plans to go see a sci-fi movie, which meant the girls and I would be home - all available to do something FUN. The only problem was that I really didn't have the energy to do anything FUN. Good thing Katie came up with the perfect solution. You see, last night was Christmas in our house. . . not really (of course, you knew that), but close. Katie decided that the 3 of us girls really needed to do something special. She asked me what my favorite time of year was, and I told her "Christmas time!" (knowing that I would say that), and she immediately put her plan in place. She asked Ellie and I to stay downstairs as she put together a * * surprise * * for us.

About 10 minutes later she came down and got us. She had me close my eyes and guided me up the stairs to the family room, where I was then directed to open my eyes. And there she had everything set up . . . three little glasses of milk, three little bowls filled with 2 cookies each (the cute little sprinkle bakery kind that she got while out with Grandma earlier in the day), 3 blankies and pillows arranged on the couch, and "The Legend of Frosty the Snowman" playing on the DVD player. I looked at her and said, "What is this?" and she said, "Well, we like Christmas and I thought it would be a great night for a special movie, a snack, some snuggle time so you could rest, and we could watch Frosty." And she was absolutely right . . . it was the PERFECT night for all of those things.

I suggested we all put on our pajamas (even though it wasn't even 7pm yet), to which the girls jumped and shrieked with delight! Within minutes, the three of us were in our absolute favorite PJ's and as happy as could be - watching Frosty.

As we sat there watching Frosty, all 30 toes lines up in a row and our arms snuggled around each other, Katie looked at me and said, "Mom, this is the best night ever." And she was absolutely right. It was the best night ever.

Merry Christmas!

ELLA: Our 2 ½ Year old “Wii Lovin’ Wanna Walk” Child

Ella has brought such joy to our lives - she’s full of life and adventure, yet so very stubborn and independent (she really is Phil and I all rolled into one . . . and that’s pretty dangerous!) During a phone call with my sister-in-law yesterday, we laughed over some of Ella’s toddler behaviors. My goodness – at 2 ½ years old, she is quite the crazy kid and certainly has us on our toes!

Her “Wanna Walk” Demands started when Ella believed that declaring “I Wanna Walk” before arriving at a grocery store would truly prevent her from being placed in the cart and pushed in the cart through the store. The first time she made this demand I could not believe my ears. We were putting her shoes on in our kitchen and Phil was telling both girls to get ready to go to Target. Little 2 year old Ella stood up in the middle of the kitchen and declared, “I Wanna Walk” (which in her language translated to: I am NOT sitting in the cart and riding throughout the store.) I looked at Phil and we both cracked up because we couldn’t believe she just told us that she was going to walk. Seriously – we hadn’t even left the house yet. But she needed to set the scene, in advance. She was walking. Period. End of story.

A few months after that, we were in New York visiting Maria (and family), when we were again reminded of Ella’s independence. Auntie Ria (Maria) has the most amazing connection with children and I have witnessed some great moments of her communicating with my daughters through the years. This particular conversation between Maria and Ella went as follows:

AR (Auntie Ria): Ella, we are going to Costco, and Auntie Ria needs you to be a good girl and sit in the shopping cart.
E: I Wanna Walk.
AR: Honey, I need you to listen to Auntie Ria. I need you to be a good listener and ride in the cart. OK?
E: (thinking)
AR: So when we get to the store I need you to listen to mommy and daddy and sit in the cart, ok?
E: (pause) ok.
AR: Let’s shake hands on it, ok? Shake Auntie’s hands and agree that you will ride in the cart.OK?
E: ok. (shakes hands)
AR: Good girl. So when we get to Costco, you are going to go into the cart and ride in the cart, right?
E: OK . . . (pause) . . . Maybe I Walk.

A fairly recent habit of Ella’s is her fascination with . . . the Nintendo Wii. Awful, I know, but true. It’s not that she understands what she is doing; she has a very limited understanding of how to play any of the games. But she sees the rest of our family play it, and sees everyone having so much fun doing it, that she wants to be part of it. . . ALL OF THE TIME. Originally we had an extra Wii remote that we removed the batteries from which became Ella’s remote. That worked only for a short time – as it didn’t take her long to realize that, “Hey, this remote doesn’t light up and make noise like the other remotes do.” So, she now has a remote with batteries and all. I thought it would be ok. Except, now she wants to play Wii all of the time. She carries the Wii remote with her throughout the house. When she wakes up from a nap she asks, “Can we play Wii?” When she comes home from being out she asks, “Can we play Wii?” Before dinner, during dinner, even after dinner she is asking to play Wii. Please know that we do not play Wii all day long, there are many days that we don’t play it at all, so please don’t think that I am this awful mom who lets a computerized game occupy her child 24hrs a day (although, the thought did cross my mind. . . I mean, what would it really hurt? I’M JOKING!!) I knew we needed an intervention to the Wii game one day when she came from a visit at her Grandma’s house. I asked her what she did at Grandmas and she said, “We played bubbles,” and then began shaking her head side to side in such a disappointing manner, and concluded with “Grandma doesn’t have Wii.”

Our Ella. All she wants to do is Walk & Wii. A couple simple requests from this "Not So" Simple Girl!

Husband Post Update

Someone told my husband about the blog (here) that I wrote about him earlier in the week. A coworker of his, who happens to be a **fantastic** friend of mine (love ya 2E!), asked him if he read the blog I wrote. As of 7AM this morning, he hasn't read it yet. But let me tell you . . . by him just hearing about it yesterday, he has since:

• Washed and folded laundry
• cleaned up dinner dishes
• made 2 zucchini breads (YES, I KNOW!)
• given the girls a bath and had snuggle time with them so I could work on a post for this blog
• brought my coffee up to me this morning as I was putting on make-up and getting ready for the day
• been sweeter than sweet!

Now I assure you, my initial purpose of posting that blog about him was NOT to get him to do all of these things . . . but I'll be honest when I say that it happens to be a MAJOR BONUS! Seriously.

I'm not sure what his actual reaction will be to it once he reads it (he might be a bit offended at the 200+lb. wagon comment, but hopefully he'll understand the importance of mentioning that). Until then, I'm going to sit on the couch and enjoy my coffee this morning . . . and be grateful for life right now!

Oh, and for those of you who spoke about your desires to start a blog. . . let this be another reminder of the benefits! DO IT!

How often do you SMILE?

I love to smile. I really do. And I try to do it as often as possible. I would much rather be seen by others with a smile on my face, than seen as a cranky lady with a frown. A dear friend of mine recently wrote in her blog the importance of smiling . Peggy put it so well (Thanks PK!) that "Smiles are gifts you give to others that don't cost you a thing. Yet when you take the time to think about it, you get the same feeling of satisfaction as you would if you gave them a nicely wrapped gift."

Today I was driving in a parking lot and came to that awkward moment when my car met up with another car (it was a big truck, actually). I was in no hurry, so I waved the truck on to cross in front of me. The driver of the truck was a man, probably in his late 50’s. He looked a little rough and tumbled, with a worn out baseball hat on his head and dust all over his car. I was so surprised when he looked at me . . . and smiled. Not just any smile – a really wonderful friendly “Hey, thanks for letting me go first, you good looking lady!” kind of smile (alright, you got me. I threw in the "good looking lady" part.) But it was a genuine smile sent with warmth and kindness, with thought. As he drove pass me, I realized that I was smiling too. I don’t know who started smiling first, but what I do know is that here, in this brief moment, we both felt good.

How many times do we avoid making eye contact with a perfect stranger? Why would we rather look down at the ground when walking pass someone, than up into their eyes? Seriously, is there really something on the ground we would rather see?

Today, let’s try to do something different. Let’s connect with each other – even if we don’t know each other. Today I challenge you to share your smile. I promise – it will make you feel good inside and you never know when your smile may make the difference in someone else’s day.

What is your dream?

I heard the coolest story on the way home from work today, on Chicago Public Radio, about an artist who paid her rent as many artists do - waitressing in downtown Chicago. What made this story so different, though, was that one day this person received a $40,000 tip from a customer, allowing her to quit her waitressing job and devote one year of her life following her dreams. . . . could you imagine?

She spoke about how the reality of working a job that she didn't love made her cranky, tense and frustrated. She was at a breaking point in her life and was feeling overwhelmed and burnt out when she was reminded that "The only thing that is going to break you, is YOU."

What would you do if you could live your dream? Are you already doing it? Now I know that the prospect of someone handing over a $40,000 tip to you today is very slim. But isn't it interesting to really take a look at ourselves and consider if it's really "my bills, my spouse, my job, my family, my bank account" that is stopping me from living my dream? Or, is it ME?

I don't know the answer myself. And I find myself regularly searching for . . . something. Do I even know what my dream is? Maybe this blog is the start of it for me, I don't know. Whatever it is - I ask you today to think about your dream. Believe in it. Maybe that is the first step towards our $40,000. Just Maybe. . .

Two New Reasons Why I Love this Man

Well, we made it! We just returned home from a 2 day trip to Milwaukee, Wisconsin where we enjoyed a fun-packed trip of Wisconsin State Fair on one day, and Milwaukee County Zoo on the other. The girls had the best time, and I (hot and cranky) discovered two new reasons why I love my husband.

It was pretty awesome when it happened. I was going about the day just enjoying what we were doing, and suddenly it’s like a lightning bolt hit me and . . . . love. So let me take a moment, if you don’t mind, and share with you why I love PG (oh, yes, that’s my husband. Phil. Affectionately known as “PG” aka “Phil Guy”. I’ll share that story another time.)

Reason #1: For making our reservation at The Iron Horse Hotel. When I mentioned to PG a few weeks ago that we should go away for a couple days, he jumped right on it (even though he does so much traveling for his work, he jumps at any adventure opportunity with either me or me and the girls). He quickly found the perfect place for us to stay, and made the reservations. It wasn’t until the night before we were leaving for our trip that I finally took a look at the website for The Iron Horse Hotel. And I was immediately nervous. Not because I didn’t think it would be nice - I mean, I KNEW it would be amazing. BUT you have to admit when looking at the website – it doesn’t quite look like the “family” kind of hotel that people with two young children would visit. Maybe the Harley Davidson motorcycle in the lobby gave that away, or the description on the website that it was geared for business travelers and motorcycle enthusiasts. I mean, I like motorcycles . . . I saw the movie “Wild Hogs” and thought it was hysterical. But I don’t think that necessarily fits the “motorcycle enthusiast” definition. Well, PG convinced me (after calling the hotel and being told “OF COURSE we love children here!”) that we would be fine. We arrived Friday evening after a long, hot, exhausting day at the Wisconsin State Fair. We looked like we had been dragged through the mud (and probably smelled like it, too). The staff greeted us when we pulled up and braved opening the back of our mini-van (who in God’s name is brave enough to open the back of a mini-van when you know the people are coming from out-of-town?) And I could immediately tell that this hotel was amazing. Quickly PG checked us in and we were led to our room (the doorman insisted on accompanying us up to our room) and finally I was able to breathe knowing that their other guests would not be subjected to the chaotic site of us. Our room was beautiful. The whole place was stunning, modern, sexy, just amazing. The building was over 100 years old and originally was home to a mattress factory. It had been completely restored and was just magnificent. Still, I kept thinking, “Oh, no, we should not be here with the girls. This place is too nice. There are no kids here . . . ” and on and on and on. Finally, PG realized that I was putting myself through some sort of internal hell and he looked at me and said, “Honey, would you rather be here with the girls and have all of this to experience? Or . . . not experience it at all?” I stopped and thought about it . . . and he was completely right. And at that moment . . . I realized why I love this man.

Reason #2: For making me laugh. Always. After a good night’s rest at the Iron Horse, we made way to the Milwaukee County Zoo for another hot day with lots and lots of walking. We had lots of adventures at the zoo that I’ll try and fill you in on at another time. But there is just one moment I want to tell you about now. We had hit pretty close to the end of our zoo trip and exhaustion was about to set in. We had brought our wagon from home (which didn’t get much use, as Ella really prefers to walk everywhere . . . of course she does, why wouldn’t she?) Just as we were approaching a long curvy hill, PG decides to SIT ON THE WAGON, with a leg on each side, and coasts all the way down the hill . . . while sitting . . . on the wagon. Mind you, this wagon is not made for 200+ lb. individuals. Nope, not at all. I stood at the top of the hill and at first thought, “Oh, Lord, those wheels are going to break for sure”, but ended up laughing hysterically as I walked down the hill. I laughed not only because of the view of PG from behind, straddling this wagon and riding down the hill, with Katie and Ella running after him shouting, “Daddy!!! Wait for me! Daddy!!!” But I laughed because as I made the way down this long hill, far behind PG, I saw the reactions of all those people he had passed while going on his ride. And they were laughing. Most of them stopped walking just to watch him (they probably had the same thought I had about the wheels), and every single one of them had a smile on their face. I walked pass a group of folks and said, “That’s MY man” and they roared with laughter. Yes, that was my man. And at that moment . . . I was reminded why I love this man.

So this was a pretty wonderful weekend. We had some amazing family time with our daughters, we had lots of laughs, very few tears, and two moments when a mommy realizes why she loves her man. Yes, a very good weekend for all!

Little Blog Update #1

A little blog update for my faithful friends and readers. It's been 24 days since I've created this blog, and 13 posts later (that's about 12 more than I thought I would have since the first one!) This blog is turning into a pretty wonderful thing for me. I never imagined sharing my stories with the blog world would be so much fun and fulfilling, but it is!!! So many of you have emailed me or posted notes on Facebook about how much you enjoy this blog - and I THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Your notes inspire me!!!! Keep them coming!!!

Now, to a little bit of business:

• A bunch of people have asked me how to leave a comment on this blog if they don't have a Google or blogger account. Well, I did a little investigating as to how I set this whole thing up, and it turns out I needed to adjust the comment status when I created the blog (who knew?) Anyway, I have now fixed the status and you can now leave me a comment on any of my posts without having to log in to a google account. Just select "NAME/URL" in the comment section. It will accept only a name (you don't have to provide a URL). So, PLEASE LEAVE ME COMMENTS!! They mean so much to me. It would mean so much to know what you are feeling and to hear that what I am writing is inspiring you (or driving you crazy)! This blog is a format for communicating - not only me to you, but you to me. So, Please comment!!!
  
• I've also corrected my time stamp... turns out I had the time set up for Pacific Time zone. Now, I'd love to be blogging from some exciting place in California (maybe Napa or San Fran), but until that REALLY happens, I'm all central standard time zone! Yippie! (I still have so much to learn about blogging!)
  
• Finally . . . PLEASE tell you friends about me! If you are inspired or like my chaos, if I make you smile - then pass it on. I am so new to this, that I'm not sure how to build more readers. But YOU may be able to help! So if you think, "Oh my gosh, my friend has got to read this!" or "Oh, wow!!! My sister had a similar story - she would die to hear this!" then, please share my blog with them!

Ok, I think that's all the business I wanted to address (for now). I'm taking a couple days off from posting . . . I'm out on some little adventures with the family that will certainly create new stories for next week (yea!!!) Thanks for taking the time to read this. Oh, and for those of you who have told me that they have always wanted to create a blog . . . my reply to you is, "DO IT!!!" It is so rewarding and has helped me take a look at myself in a really strange (but FUN and CREATIVE) way. It's easy to set a blog up, and so worth it!!! If you do, make sure you share you blog info with me, and I'll become follower!!!

In the meantime - Peace & Balance to you! See you in a couple days!!

WARNING: This story contains language that some might consider unsuitable for blogging.

“PLEASE! Let me poop in PEACE!!!” Yes, those words came out of my mouth. . . I said it. . . I'm not proud of it. . . but I meant it.

And as I sat there thinking about what just came out of my mouth – I was in shock. For never in my life did I ever think I would say those words. But . . . life changes once you bring a little baby into the world. It changes even more when you add a second one. Then, they start to grow. And they learn to walk and talk. And they follow you around (everywhere). Then they really learn to talk. Begging to have a friend over to play with, begging to play outside, begging for a treat or snack, begging to play Wii, begging for some more and more juice, and talking and begging and talking. Just being a kid.

And there I go – for a moment of calmness. In my sanctuary. My bathroom.

Today I sat in the bathroom as one child kept walking in and out (I knew I should have locked the door) and the other stood in the doorway begging for me to be done (seriously . . . “Mom, when are you going to be done?”).

Finally, when I couldn’t take it anymore I yelled, “PLEASE!!! Will you please let me poop in PEACE!!!!”

That was it. It was out there – in the universe. Done. Seven years ago I worked in an office, made a decent living, wore high heel shoes and make-up, and could never have imagined saying those words. Today, life is different. But it’s the best life I’ve ever had. I wouldn’t change a single thing.

And today my daughters walked out of the bathroom and closed the door. And I was in peace.

Why are we in such a big hurry?

Driving home from work today I came across a situation that really frustrated me. And since this blog is really part "therapy session" for me, I decided to write about it.

So, I ask you - Why are we always in such a big hurry?

It's really such a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining brightly and the birds are flying round and round. The trees are flowing in the gentle breeze. Just a peaceful day. I was driving home from work with the windows rolled down on the van and "Rascal Flatts" playing on the radio. I was in a happy place. So there I am, driving down School House Road, and I glance in the mirror behind me to find a man (well, I guess you could call him that) who was obviously very angry at my driving. Now, let me tell you . . . I am certain there are times when I am NOT a good driver. There are times when I am not as careful as I should be, or times when I am overly careful. This moment, today, was NOT one of those moments. In fact, I was driving rather perfectly (if I do say so myself.) The breeze was flowing gently in and out of the window with a number of cars in front of me following along in such an rhythmic non-threatening way, then . . . there was Mr. Nutball behind me. This man was ranting and raving, shaking his arm outside his window. IN A FIST. Seriously. At first I thought, "Oh, he must be listening to Rascal Flatts, too." But, as I've reminded you in previous posts - I'm no dummy. I paused for a moment and realized, "Oh, my goodness, he's ranting at ME."

Where in Gods earth did he think I was going to go? There were not only one, not only two, but THREE cars in front of me. We were not driving slowly . . . we were driving a bit OVER the speedlimit, actually. And he wasn't happy with that - at all. I waved my hand outside of the car window as if to say, "Hey, where do you want me to go?" This was not received well. He zoomed out into the middle turn lane and I found myself face to face with Mr. Nutball. He slowed down for a brief moment as if to say, "Nah nah na na na" to me. Then accelerated ahead of me (all in the middle turn lane . . . where are the police when you need them? Probably giving a ticket to a nice lady who is on her way scrapbooking. Oh, that's another story for another time.) Mr. Nutball then proceeded to pass me, the car in front of me, and the car in front of the car in front of me.

What's funny is that we all ended up at the same stop sign at Francis and School House. And I ended up right next to Mr. Nutball (he was turning right, I was turning left.)

I didn't turn to look at his face. I was angry that he interrupted my happy place. And I didn't want to show that his attitude got the best of me. I turned up my Rascal Flatts, took a deep breath in, and suddenly remembered my post from yesterday (on being late.)

I'm going to give Mr. Nutball a break and assume that he was late for something very important.

And me? I'm home now, and finding my happy place, again.

Remembering . . .

Today is my Dad's Birthday.

My Dad would have been 75 years old today.

I'm thinking of you, Dad, and celebrating your life.

I miss you more than words can say.

Happy Birthday Dad.

I'm LATE!

No, No. . . not that. (Are you kidding me? Seriously . . . )

I mean I'm late . . . about 1/2 hour. Every darn day. To every darn thing.

This morning I needed to be OUT OF THE HOUSE at 7:30 AM. (I had an appointment at a client's office in the city at 9:30 AM, and I needed to stop at my office in New Lenox to get my laptop. Now, I understand this all could have been avoided by bringing my laptop home on Friday. Yes, that would have been a really good thing to do. Too bad I didn't think about that.)

So this morning I arranged for my dear sister to watch the girls (thank you Laura!) and asked her to be at my house by 7:30. She walked in at 7:20 AM (always punctual, as usual), and I think I was trying to get Katie up and dressed, or something. I don't know. All I know is at 7:52 AM I was just starting my journey driving down the street in my car, wondering why I was running late AGAIN!

I don't know how this happens. I can plan out the morning perfectly - with plenty of time to accomplish all of my morning goals (maybe thats the first problem. . . I shouldn't set any morning GOALS). Then all of a sudden . . . It's almost as if I truly believe the clock in my house will stop, and I think to myself, "Ooooo - why don't I just quickly . . . fold laundry, change my shirt, empty the dishwasher, change purses, change my shirt again, fix my to-go coffee, make a phone call, pay a bill online, take the garbage out, talk to a neighbor, change my shirt again . . . all in the next 10 minutes!!!!"

I need to really stop this behavior. It creates such tension inside - it's nuts. Hmmmm . . . I'll work on that. Just not today. Maybe tomorrow. What is that quote Scarlett O'Hara said, "I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow." Dear Scarlett . . . what would Scarlett do? She wouldn't worry a bit about it. After all, the party wouldn't really start until Scarlett arrived.

Until tomorrow . . .

p.s. Did you REALLY think I was "LATE" late? Really? Heck NO!

Julie & Julia . . . absolutely FANTASTIC!

I just returned from seeing Julie & Julia - and I absolutely ADORED it! It was Wonderful, Delightful and Charming . . . I found myself sitting in the theater with a smile on my face from the moment it started to the moment it ended, just soaking in the fun of these characters and this movie.

It interested me not only because of my love of cooking, but also due to my recent interest in blogging. I watched this movie feeling very much like Julie Powell, who was at a point in her life were she wanted to make a difference - to do something that mattered. Her idea to blog the process of cooking all of Julia's recipes in 1 year came from a strong desire within herself to do something incredible, and see it through from start to finish. Amy Adams was excellent! and Meryl Streep was phenomenal - seconds into the movie I truly forgot I was watching Meryl Streep and just enjoyed Julia Child. Really, the lady is brilliant and I can't say much more about her.

Nora Ephron did it again . . . I'll be adding it to my list of favorite Nora Ephron movies (along with You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, and When Harry Met Sally.)

LOST: Grape Tomatoes

That's it - I've completely lost it!

My mind, that is, AND a sandwich-size bag of grape tomatoes. I feel like I'm going absolutely crazy.

How does one loose a sandwich-size bag of tomatoes? It's actually quite easy. Just pack up your bowl of tomatoes after dinner, look for them moments later (after your husband comes in from the garden with a few more to put in the bag), and realize that they are NO WHERE to be found. Not on the table, not on the counter, not in the fridge, not in the cabinet, pantry, microwave, oven, dishwasher, freezer, drawer, living room, bathroom, garbage bag, garbage can, purse. . . NOT ANYWHERE!!!

It wouldn't be so bad to have just lost this sandwich-size bag of tomatoes today . . . but the thing is, a couple years ago Phil lost an Italian Sausage sandwich. Honest. We were BBQing w/my sister and brother-in-law, and Phil went in to the kitchen to make up a sandwich, only to come outside minutes later (after being distracted) with no sandwich in hand. He went back into the kitchen and could not find that sandwich anywhere. Well, it turned up later that night . . .


As I was putting clean dishes away I opened the cabinet and found Phil's sandwich. Safe and sound - waiting for Phil. I still laugh when I look at that picture.

Tonight, I'm looking for my tomatoes. (I've checked the dish cabinet, for old times sake, and, no tomatoes.) I'll keep you posted. . . .

Augh!

Katie and the Red Dot

Ever since she started talking, and if I found Katie was about to travel to the Land of Fibs (not truths or a lie), I would tell her that I knew she was telling me a fib because she had a red dot on her forehead. In the beginning she would run to the mirror and lift her bangs and, of course, see nothing that resembled a red dot. I told her that only Mommy’s, Daddy’s and Grandma’s could see the dot. It slowly evolved. If she was in the middle of telling me something and I asked to see her forehead, she’d cover it with her hand and tell me, “Really, mom! Seriously! (which was a sure sign that she was telling a fib). She would always admit it and tell me she was sorry for fibbing (and we would go into a detailed conversation about how we should tell the truth.) If she would tell me something and I’d say, “Really?” she would automatically lift her bangs so I could see her forehead and say, “Yes, Mom. See? No dot.”

(I can’t take credit for the red dot forehead idea. Rosie O’Donnell talked about it on her show years ago. She said that her son believed the red dot until he was about 6. So years ago I told Katie that when she turned 6, it would be harder and harder for Mommy and Daddy to see the red dot.)

One morning when she about 4 ½ years old, Katie was having Frosted Mini-wheats for breakfast. She told me she was done eating and I asked her how many mini-wheats she ate (because her bowl still looked quite full.)
She said she ate 9.
I told her that I didn’t think she ate 9.
She lifted her bangs, and I told her, “Nope – I see a red dot. You didn’t have 9.”
With her bangs lifted, she went on . . .
She said, “8?”
I said, “No. Still a red dot.”
She said, “7?”
I said, “Nope.”
She said, “6?”
I said, “Maybe, I can’t quite tell – the dot is kind of pink.”
She said, “Oh, I had 6, Mom. That pink dot that you see is just an old fib.”

She made me laugh so hard that morning. . . an old fib. So funny.

Katie turned 6 on June 29th. Some days I wish I told her I could see the dot until she turned 20. But I guess she probably would have figured out my secret sooner or later. Ah, well. . . Ella is right around the corner!

The End of a Legend

My Electronic hand-held Yahtzee game died. . . just now. And I am sad.

I know, I know . . . it's just a game.

While I don't consider myself a "true" Yahtzee Addict (is there such a thing?), it's hard to realize that my game is no longer. My Yahtzee game provided me with little moments of sanity in this chaotic life of mine. It was my escape from the daily craziness of mommyhood and work. When I found myself feeling anxious and overwhelmed, one quick game brought calmness to my soul and my blood pressure down! Crazy, huh? It was at the hospital with me when both Katie and Ella were born, it has kept me company when Phil was out of town for work . . . I even scored a 613 once (I KNOW!!! THAT'S PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE!!!) and took a picture of it to prove it! It's so silly, isn't it? Maybe I am the worlds first ever electronic hand-held Yahtzee addict. I'm not that bad, am I?

. . .

That's all for now.

. . .

Target is open until 10:00pm, and . . . I need to go buy something!!!

CALGON! Take me away!

A dear friend (thanks PK) reminded me to update my blog. It's kind of funny, because right now she is the only person who reads my blog. Because of that, I decided I had better do what my one reader asks. . .

I'm just coming down from a 3 week whirlwind adventure that included (in no particular order):

• 1 knee replacement surgery & recovery from (not mine)
• 17 day business trip (also not mine)
• 14 day out-of-town relative visit (sister-in-law, brother-in-law, godson)
• 7 balloons
• 3 BBQ's
• 2 excellent grown up dinners out with dear friends
• 2 bowling trips
• 1 Wii consol breaking
• 1 goat feeding
• 1 birthday cake
• 1 trip to the Zoo
• 1 mudslide pie
• Lots of Yahtzee and Boggle playing
• Too many to remember - Extra dirty martini's (ALL mine)
• lots of smiles
• some tears
• prayers for friends
• lots of laughs
• A WHOLE LOT OF Chaos and Happiness!

While it all was pretty wonderful, I'm ready to get back to normal - whatever that may be. Tomorrow I promise to post a more thought provoking moment. In the meantime, grab the person closest to you, look them in the eyes and smile - and know that it takes only a brief moment to give love and to feel it in return.