(PLEASE BE SURE TO READ THE ADDTIONAL NOTE AT END OF POST!) Ok, before I begin . . . to all my male readers out there (do I even have any male readers?), I am apologizing in advance if this may offend you - I know not what I am doing. To my husband (if you so happen to be reading this, dearest sweetheart), let's just pretend that this isn't directed towards you in any way - because I DO love you so. (Truthfully, honestly, and totally.)
I'm going to try to write this post without begin too catty. . . honestly, I am. But sometimes when I get on a roll - you know what happens. But seriously, ladies. . . . WHAT IS IT WITH THE MEN IN OUR LIVES?
Ok, let me explain.
I am wondering how women, in general, can: take care of the kids, feed the dogs, wash, fold and put away the laundry, work a gazillion of hours a week, shop for groceries, plan for holidays, mail birthday & anniversary cards, pay the bills, do the homework with the kids, buy the birthday presents, drive the kids from here to there, take the garbage out, run to religious ed, drive to hair cuts, cook the meals, wash the dishes, read the mail, flush the toilets, get multiple family members up, fed, teeth brushed and clothes changes daily, AND do all of this while fighting a knock-down drag-out COLD . . . .yet when the male species is feeling a bit "under the weather", it's as if they completely and totally shut down. The "DO NOT DISTURB" sign goes up, and they are down for the count. Seriously. I mean . . . . do the kids "shut down" because I have a cold? No. Do the holidays pause until I'm feeling ready to catch up? No. Do the kids all stay quietly in bed until Mommy is feeling up to starting the day? Heck, No (although. . . . for a brief moment, lets imagine a quite morning at home with no children yelling for juice or for Tom & Jerry on the TV. Ah, how lovely that would be.)
I've been fighting a cold the past few days. Those of you in touch with me back in June know that I had a bit of pneumonia this past summer (I know - pneumonia. I felt like I was 80 years old, though. It was a crazy thing!) Anyway, since that little bought, everytime I get sick it goes straight to the lungs - not fun at all. Yesterday I called the Doc (no DrWebMD this time) and he started me on medication. I am already feeling improved, which is great. Last evening, PG (Phil Guy) had a late work function and as he was driving home he called me and said he wasn't feeling good. I truly felt awful for him, as I feared I may have shared my cold with him. He arrived home and went straight to bed to get some much needed rest. He has been working tons lately and I know this was his body's way of getting back.
This morning, he was down for the count. Truly. The kids were up, dressed, fed, out the door, and I was at work, before PG even knew we were gone. He rested all day. . . .and somewhere, deep inside, I think I was a bit jealous that he was able to do that. Rarely (if ever) does a day come when the kids are gone and I have a whole day to rest - even when I am sick. So I found myself feeling a bit resentful at my dear sweet PG this evening.
On my way to pick Ella up from my Mom's (yes, my Mom watched Ellie for me, so PG didn't have to watch her today . . . while resting), I had to call my sister on the phone to vent. My sister is so good, because I can simply start my conversation by saying, "You know we love him and he is a great guy and a great dad and yadda yadda yadda, but . . . . " and she knows to not take any offense to what I am going to say about my beloved PG. She lets me go on and get it off my chest. Then she always concludes with a, "But he's a great guy, and we're going to keep him!" and she is always right. The truth is - he is a GREAT GUY! (I wrote about my thankfulness for him just this Sunday, and that is SO VERY TRUE!)
It's interesting to me now that I am sitting back and writing this - to really take it all in. The truth is, is it right to be jealous when I am the one NOT taking care of MYSELF and listening to my body? Truthfully . . . why is it that so often women neglect themselves? We feel responsible to put everyone else in front of us, and fail to listen to and take care of ourselves. Does that make us the winner in life? I don't think so. To be honest, we have GOT to start listening to ourselves. At least I have to. You know - I mentioned above that I called the Doctor to get medicine. The truth is really that my Mom INSISTED I call. She phoned me Wednesday morning and told me, "Listen, your job is to take care of your daughters. My job is to take care of you. If I don't take care of you, then you won't be around to take care of your daughters. SO - call the doctor and get some medicine." And she was completely right. There goes that Mom, again. Just when I think I've got it all together - she's there - taking care of me. Hmmmmm. . . .
So, here we are. Another really good life lesson learned. And it all started from my dearest PG, needing a little rest, and from my Mom taking care of me. Feel better, honey! and Thanks, Mom! (Artwork credit: Campbell's Soup I: Chicken Noodle c. 1968 by Andy Warhol )
ADDED POST 11/21/2009: Ok, so I am following up with a brief update on this post. I have to tell you, Friday PG totally turned it around and was Mr. Mom! I had a vendor fair for Cuteybaby that I had to attended Friday afternoon/evening, and PG pulled out all the stops! He took the girls bowling, spent an hour in the arcade playing games, took them out to dinner, and was just an all around amazing guy! My sister called me Friday morning and said, "Wow . . . .you were really rough" in this above blog, but I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. I've always said that this blog is somewhat a therapy session to me. I try to always end it on a positive note, because I am always learning in life and always trying to focus on the good. Some days its just easier to do that than others. Ah, well. SO I had to let you know that Thursday he "yadda yadda yadda'd" and Friday he was there for me - being the amazing father that he is!!!!